What’s your inner voice like? By that, I mean, how do you talk to yourself? Are you positive and upbeat or are you self-critical and pessimistic?

To my friends, I’m a kind, nurturing person. With my kids, I’m encouraging and positive. But when it comes to myself, I’m harsh, over-critical and defeatist.

• You’ll never manage that
• You’re not good enough
• I knew you’d mess it up
• You don’t deserve it

Okay, you get the picture! But I am determined not to pass this on to my daughters.

My dream for them

I look at my two beautiful girls, and I want them to be confident. Not overly so (I can’t abide arrogance), but quietly confident in their abilities.

I want them to have dreams and be brave enough to pursue them. I want them to develop a positive inner voice that encourages and supports them; and one that is kind to them when they make mistakes.

Own it!

So I’ve started a new routine with my eldest (6) as I drop her off at school. I used to give her a quick kiss and whisper in her ear that she’s amazing.

I think that was a good start. But I know from experience that being told you’re amazing and actually believing that you’re amazing are two very different things.

You’ve got to own it!

Training the inner voice

So now, I make her repeat the phrase out loud. I say it in the first person (‘I’ not ‘you’) so that she gets used to saying positive things about herself. We are programming that inner voice with helpful sayings.

We say different things each day but it’s usually a pick-n-mix of these:

• I’m lovely
• I’m kind
• I’m clever
• I’m a good friend
• I’m beautiful
• I’m loved
• I’m good at maths
• I’m worthy

These simple sentences are declarations of self-belief. They affirm the talents she possesses and give her the confidence to build on those foundations. They demonstrate that it is okay to be your own cheerleader.

Sometimes, you can’t rely on other people to compliment you and boost your confidence. Besides, your worth isn’t based on another person’s opinion. You intrinsically have value. You have something unique to offer the world, and it’s time to step up and claim it.

Be self-assured and celebrate who you are. Don’t wait for someone else to give you permission.

And of course, it’s not just my daughter who needs this lesson. An inspirational, supportive inner voice is critical for all of us. Don’t let your lying inner voice hold you back anymore. You are capable. You are worthy. You are brilliant. And it’s time to start reprogramming your inner voice phrases.

I can do this! Keep going!

BiBs

And so, I’d like to tentatively put that advice into action and be my own best cheerleader.

The BritMums Brilliance in Blogging awards are currently open for nominations. I have nominated myself in the Fresh Voice category (which is all about celebrating the newbies) but the Family/Lifestyle category could work too.

I use Lucy At Home to inspire bloggers to big each other (and themselves) up with the #blogcrush linky. I strive to pass on the blogging tips I’ve picked up, so that we can all succeed. And I also try to find the beauty in each day without shying away from the challenges that parenting presents.

Here is the link to the BiBs Nomination Page. Please go and nominate your favourite bloggers.

And if you’ve enjoyed Lucy At Home and would like to support one (or both) of my bids, these are the details you’ll need:

Blog Name:  Lucy At Home

Blog URL:    https://lucyathome.co.uk

Twitter ID:  @lucy_at_home

Email:         lucy@lucyathome.co.uk

But can I also add that, even if Lucy At Home isn’t your choice, please click the link anyway! Nominate whoever you like and help to prove someone else’s negative inner voice wrong. Maybe I can even encourage you to nominate yourself!