Declare it! Own It! Make Your Inner Voice Your Cheerleader!


What’s your inner voice like? By that, I mean, how do you talk to yourself? Are you positive and upbeat or are you self-critical and pessimistic?

To my friends, I’m a kind, nurturing person. With my kids, I’m encouraging and positive. But when it comes to myself, I’m harsh, over-critical and defeatist.

  • You’ll never manage that
  • You’re not good enough
  • I knew you’d mess it up
  • You don’t deserve it

Okay, you get the picture! But I am determined not to pass this on to my daughters.

My dream for them

I look at my two beautiful girls, and I want them to be confident. Not overly so (I can’t abide arrogance), but quietly confident in their abilities.

I want them to have dreams and be brave enough to pursue them. I want them to develop a positive inner voice that encourages and supports them; and one that is kind to them when they make mistakes.

I'm brilliant positive inner voice superhero caption

Own it!

So I’ve started a new routine with my eldest (6) as I drop her off at school. I used to give her a quick kiss and whisper in her ear that she’s amazing.

I think that was a good start. But I know from experience that being told you’re amazing and actually believing that you’re amazing are two very different things.

You’ve got to own it!

Training the inner voice

So now, I make her repeat the phrase out loud. I say it in the first person (‘I’ not ‘you’) so that she gets used to saying positive things about herself. We are programming that inner voice with helpful sayings.

We say different things each day but it’s usually a pick-n-mix of these:

  • I’m lovely
  • I’m kind
  • I’m clever
  • I’m a good friend
  • I’m beautiful
  • I’m loved
  • I’m good at maths
  • I’m worthy

These simple sentences are declarations of self-belief. They affirm the talents she possesses and give her the confidence to build on those foundations. They demonstrate that it is okay to be your own cheerleader.

Sometimes, you can’t rely on other people to compliment you and boost your confidence. Besides, your worth isn’t based on another person’s opinion. You intrinsically have value. You have something unique to offer the world, and it’s time to step up and claim it.

Be self-assured and celebrate who you are. Don’t wait for someone else to give you permission.

And of course, it’s not just my daughter who needs this lesson. An inspirational, supportive inner voice is critical for all of us. Don’t let your lying inner voice hold you back anymore. You are capable. You are worthy. You are brilliant. And it’s time to start reprogramming your inner voice phrases.

I can do this inner voice toddler soft play

I can do this! Keep going!

BiBs

And so, I’d like to tentatively put that advice into action and be my own best cheerleader.

The BritMums Brilliance in Blogging awards are currently open for nominations. I have nominated myself in the Fresh Voice category (which is all about celebrating the newbies) but the Family/Lifestyle category could work too.

I use Lucy At Home to inspire bloggers to big each other (and themselves) up with the #blogcrush linky. I strive to pass on the blogging tips I’ve picked up, so that we can all succeed. And I also try to find the beauty in each day without shying away from the challenges that parenting presents.

Here is the link to the BiBs Nomination Page. Please go and nominate your favourite bloggers.

And if you’ve enjoyed Lucy At Home and would like to support one (or both) of my bids, these are the details you’ll need:

Blog Name:  Lucy At Home

Blog URL:    https://lucyathome.co.uk

Twitter ID:  @lucy_at_home

Email:         lucy@lucyathome.co.uk

But can I also add that, even if Lucy At Home isn’t your choice, please click the link anyway! Nominate whoever you like and help to prove someone else’s negative inner voice wrong. Maybe I can even encourage you to nominate yourself!

BritMums
Rhyming with Wine
JakiJellz

Lucy At Home

diaryofanimperfectmum
Hot Pink Wellingtons

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

29 Comments

Add yours
  1. 1
    Wendy

    Yes Lucy, I love this! We all need to have an inner cheerleader. My inner voice sounds an awful lot likes your but I too am trying to make it more positive and kind. I love that you and your daughter say those positive affirmations before school every day, what a brilliant thing to do. Good luck with the BiBs lovely, you know you’ve got my vote xx #BlogCrush

  2. 5
    The Squirmy Popple

    I totally agree that we need to be kinder to ourselves. I always encourage my daughter and try to give her confidence, but sometimes I forget to encourage myself too. I think you’re doing a great job of supporting the blog community and running a blog that’s open, honest and positive. Good luck with the BIBs! #BlogCrush

  3. 7
    Abi - Something About Baby

    Definitely agree with this! I have to admit, whilst I’ve never been overly confident on the outside, I’ve never really been negative to myself. My mum is very independent and strong and I think a lot of that has rubbed off on me, and I hope it rubs off on Alfie! He is already turning out to be very confident and I hope he continues to be so as he grows up. Good luck with the BiBs! #blogcrush

  4. 10
    justsayingmum

    Oh what a totally wonderful idea! My three, even though they are teens, could do with a little more of this self belief! Oh I can hear a whole load of new justsayingmum mantras coming up over the next few weeks – especially as exam season hits! #BlogCrush

  5. 14
    Tracey Bowden

    This is a great post, I have to be really careful with what I say in front of my daughter as she’s a little bit older but this is such a good idea especially as she’s about to go to secondary school #blogcrush

  6. 17
    Rhyming with Wine

    I think you are teaching such an important lesson. So many of us (me included here) feel like out choices need to be validated by other people’s opinions. Here’s to owning it. Thanks for hosting #blogcrush lovely x

  7. 19
    Baby Isabella

    Good luck on the competition! We totally agree that it’s good to have a positive inner voice, hopefully my mummy will instill in me a positive attitude and not a negative one x popping over from #DreamTeam

  8. 20
    Jemma @popcornlunchuk

    I loved this! It’s so true that we constantly rely on validation from others- there’s a great quote that says to be influenced by criticism OR compliments from others is a weakness. The real belief of self-worth has to come from within. What better than to teach our children this from he start x #blogcrush

  9. 24
    Nicole

    What a great idea! I tell my kids affirming things all the time, but having them repeat it in the first person is so smart! I’m going to do this! #dreamteam

  10. 25
    An Imperfect Mum

    What a great idea! As a teacher I always shake hands with each child as they leave and try and say something positive about their day I think it is so important to encourage their positive feelings. Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime

  11. 26
    Lisa Pomerantz

    An inner cheerleader is a magnificent idea, and can surely our rah-rah! my inner voice. It took me 32 years to find the volume button. By now, cheering would be divine! Thank you for this post! #BlogCrush xoxo

  12. 27
    David

    Absolutely love this post! I’m like you: quick to praise others, but harsh on myself. I tell the kids how great they are and how much I love them daily, but have never thought to get them to say it about themselves. What a great idea!
    I’ve always struggled with ‘doing myself justice’ because I grew up with a stepfather who’s MO was to put everything I did down. He relished undermining any achievement.
    From now on, I’m going to get the kids to repeat what we tell them daily.
    #TriumphantTales

  13. 28
    Katy - Hot Pink Wellingtons

    I think it was only in my 30’s that I started thinking about that internal voice and how much it can hold us back or build us up. I’ve found adjusting my inner thoughts to be more positive has had a massive impact on my attitude and happiness in general. I’ve not really considered how I can develop this in my children but I’m definitely going to give it some thought – I think it’s such a powerful tool for motivation and happiness. Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

  14. 29
    Emma T

    Your post made me think. I don’t think I ever talk to myself like that. When I do it’s more about making comments about other people’s driving or things that annoy me. But nothing that puts me down. #sharingthebloglove

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