Don’t Fall For This Happy Mum Scam

Do a quick scroll down Instagram and you’d be forgiven for thinking that the key to being a happy mum is vase of tulips and a smiling child wearing a spotless outfit.

If that’s true, then there’s no hope for any of us!

Those tulips will have wilted in a few days and the outfit will be stained within 10 minutes. The smile will disappear and tears will replace it. Game over! Bye-bye happy mum!

Except that it’s all a big social media scam! The key to being a happy mum is not having a perfect life, it’s being able to pick out the happy moments as they happen in the chaos.

To my average child who seems invisible - child splashing in puddles - Happy mum

How to be a happy mum

I don’t want to pretend that being a mum is easy – it’s exhausting and complicated and the heartache of seeing your child suffer is brutal.

Sometimes it can feel overwhelming. There’s the monotony of telling your kids to take their shoes off at the front door. Every. Single. Day. It can be frustrating to nurse a child through sickness only for them to yell “You don’t care about me” a few days later. And then there’s that one thing that gets right up your nose that they just keep doing again and again and again and again…!

But I want to let you into a secret – that’s all normal!

The mums who love being mums aren’t immune to this stuff. They don’t float above it in some sort of angelic daze. Family life is gritty and hard and there are times when you all yell at each other. They have just learnt to focus on the good bits.

Search out the good. Celebrate the happy. Talk about the fun times and replay those memories. If you always think of family life as being tough, it will be difficult to find joy there. But if you can edit your memories to prioritise the joyful moments, your perspective will be very different.

Edit your life in a positive way quote - happy mum

11 happy mum moments to look out for

But if all that sounds a bit “airy-fairy” and life just feels too bleak to change your perspective, let me get you started. Keep your eyes out for some of these 11 happy moments over the next 7 days and make a note of them. You might be surprised just how many happy moments are happening and simply getting lost in the chaos.

  • That was yummy – It doesn’t matter if it was fish fingers or a 5 course banquet, if your kid thanks you for their meal, take it!
  • Physical affection – It could be resting their head on your shoulder, holding your hand or a full-blown cuddle
  • Watch this – They’re involving you in something that interests them
  • Kindness – Seeing your child do something kind for someone else should fill you with pride
  • Creativeness – How does your child like to be creative? Are they musical or artistic or do they like to cook? Take time to appreciate their gifts
  • Going the extra mile – Did they make a cup of tea for you or fetch your slippers?
  • Not complaining – It’s so nice when they load the dishwasher the first time you ask or they sit down and do their homework straight away
  • Tidying up – They used something and then put it away again – hurray!
  • Sibling Love Getting along with siblings and working together
  • School achievements – Celebrate stickers, certificates, ticks in books, good comments, working hard
  • Sharing – It could be offering their sweets around or making a picture for you

Grass & Air carrying a log - happy mum

Those are just a few to get you started. If you want to be a happy mum, you need to clock the little moments and not discount them because of the context.

  • Your 2 year old gives you a sloppy kiss – don’t discount it because he then draws on the wall.
  • Your 14 year old gets a certificate at school – don’t discount it because she has a strop and slams the door.

If you can take time to consciously appreciate the good in family life, you will find that you automatically feel happier. Your perspective starts to change and suddenly life becomes more manageable and enjoyable.

I know it’s not all sunshine and roses, but that’s why it’s so important to take stock of the good things when they come along, no matter how small they may seem.

REMEMBER: A happy moment is still a happy moment, regardless of what happens before and after it.

Goggles Chalk board easel starting nursery Stay at Home Mum - happy mum

What are your happy mum moments? Are you good at seeing the positives or do they get lost in the busyness of life? Do you have any tips for being a happier person? Let me know your thoughts in the comments section below.

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Add yours
  1. 4
    Noleen Miller

    Life is indeed hard and parenting not at all easy but it’s the small things that makes me the happiest – those moments when your child just gives you a hug and says “I love you so much”. #blogcrush

  2. 6

    Great post! We need to stop comparing our lives to others. It’s not fair to anyone, us, the kids or the other families. We have to do what we can with what we have. We have to change the things we can and accept the rest. Finding the moments is perfect 🙂 #BlogCrush

  3. 7

    Love this post so very much and so very full of wisdom and truth. My key to happiness as a mum is to ensure you find a way to keep a strong sense of self and to proactively make great memories and moments and to practise lots of me time and self-care too. I didn’t and spent 10 years depressed but in a way I can even celebrate that as it makes me appreciate my contentment these days #BlogCrush

  4. 8
    Sara @ Magical Mama Blog

    This is such a fantastic read!! It is so easy to get wrapped up in so many things, but once you take a step back and soak in the happiness, the time with your family becomes much more precious! I’m trying to make it my goal this year to take more “me time” for self care. Thanks for the reminder!


  5. 9
    Fi Anderson

    I am guilty of trying to create a perfect family persona, even trying to fake it to make it. Seeing all the good online and not much reality, is definitely giving the wrong impression to new mums. #blogcrush

  6. 10
    Margaret Langan

    Love this post! Sometimes I use my own personal Instagram to remind myself of the good moments. I also try to remember something a therapist once told me: Make your emotional “inbox” for good things bigger than the “inbox” for bad things. Pretty much what you said here. 🙂 #blogcrush

  7. 11

    I do love your quote. Take your 24hrs… File the good bits chuck the rest. So many of us dwell on the bad bits and lose the good moments in the angst xx #blogcrush

  8. 13
    Rhyming with Wine

    Love this. My favourite part: “A happy moment is still a happy moment, regardless of what happens before and after it.” I think you’re right. If we look at things the right way we can add an Insta filter to our own memories. It’s important to keep the good ones as there all that we’ll have to look back on in years to come. Thanks for hosting #blogcrush x

  9. 14
    Lucy Howard

    This is such a brilliant post. Thank you for writing it. It’s so important to remember that life isn’t perfect. And being a parent is hard. But you can enjoy it by taking time in your life to look for the happy moments. And there are so many happy moments to take note of. Thanks so much for hosting #blogcrush. Hugs Lucy xxxx

  10. 15
    Alice | Letters to my Daughter

    You’ve hit the nail on the head here Lucy and I think I need to take this on board a little more. My little one has turned into a proper threenager recently and it’s been wearing me down! But there are some very precious moments woven into our days and I must focus on those more. #BlogCrush

  11. 16
    Liberty Henwick

    Such a great post, i love how you focus on picking out those special moments and editing out the rest. I feel it’s all too easy at times to be overwhelmed by the few down moments. We are good at looking back on the happy moments in life but not so good at enjoying them in the present. thanks for this. #blogcrush

  12. 17

    ‘A happy moment is still a happy moment’ – I love this! I wrote a post a while ago about being a happier mum and I definitely agree that finding joy in the little things is important, I kept a gratitude journal for a while and it really helped me to remember all the happy moments from the day xx #blohcrush

  13. 18

    It seems all too easy to be caught up in the negatives but taking a step back and seeing just how many things have been positive certainly does more for your wellbeing #BlogCrush

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