How To Edit Your Life And Get The HAPPY Back!
Have you ever thought about how you edit your life? When someone asks you what you’ve been up to, what highlights (or lowlights) do you give them? When you reflect on your day, do you think about all the good things that happened, or focus in on the frustrations?
I’ve been struggling with my mood a bit recently so I’ve set myself a challenge – to edit IN the good bits!
Where is your focus?
Now I’m not saying that we need to pretend everything is hunky-dory when it isn’t. I think it’s good to talk about your problems. But, I have been trying to be more mindful about how I interpret and summarise my days.
When Hubby asks how my day has gone, it can be so easy to reel off the number of time-outs I’ve had to dish out, or moan about the car running out of petrol.
But what about the good bits?
I seem to automatically jump to the bits that are frustrating. Okay the car running out of petrol was rather stressful, but by highlighting that event, I give the impression that the whole day was dreadful, when actually, I had a lovely hour or so playing in the sunshine with my toddler before the petrol incident.
If I placed more emphasis on the happy, playful, fun bits, I know I’d feel much better about things.
I am the editor of my life
Imagine you’re the editor of the movie of your day. In your hand are the rolls of film; every moment from the last 24 hours.
Somehow, you need to cut all of this down to a 15 minute clip.
It’s up to you to choose what you keep in and what you discard – you decide what the significant bits are. You chop it all up and stick the bits you’re keeping together. What is the good-to-bad ratio? How much of the good stuff have you dropped to the floor?
That’s the process you go through every time you have a conversation with someone about your day. Each time, you make a decision about what information is relevant and interesting and important.
How to edit in the positives
So here on in, I choose to edit my life in a positive way!
What does that look like in practise? Well here are a few things that I’ll be considering:
- I will look for positive things to report
- I will actively avoid sharing my negative news (unless I need to, obvs!)
- I won’t let bad incidents take up any more of the day than they need to – I will deal with them and then move on
- I will be more aware
- I will stop listing bad things that have happened and take each as an isolated incident
- I will take time to savour the good times
- I will comment when something nice is happening because hearing the positive thoughts will reinforce them
- I will replay happy memories from the week
How good are you at being a positive editor? Do you have a tendency to look on the negative side or are you good at focussing on the good in your life? I’d love to hear some of the positive things you can edit from your day so far – tell me in the comments section below 🙂
[…] second post is How To Edit Your Life And Get The HAPPY Back! As someone who’s suffered with mental health issues from time to time, this strategy is […]
I love this post! I try to find the silver lining in everything, sometimes I get creative trying to spin something into good, but it works! #BlogCrush
Your attitude to a situation can make a huge difference, and sometimes that’s the only power we have over a situation
Love this!! I have recently been on a positivity drive so these are great tips. When you focus less on the negative it really does impact on your happyness. Great post! #BlogCrush
I really LOVE this! Mindset is EVERYTHING, people need time to get themselves together, to re-focus on what’s important, this is a wonderful reminder of that. #blogcrush
Thank you. Glad you liked it
You have helped me so much with this post, in helping me to screw my head back on correctly! The news here in the US is just beating us up. Hard to imagine and swallow. TY for this! #BlogCrush
I’m really pleased to hear that you found the post helpful. I’m writing as much (if not more) for myself as anyone else. I can imagine it must be really difficult for you guys over there at the moment
Hey Lucy, I think it’s so important to make an effort to remember the positive stuff happening in life and continue to be grateful for all the good stuff that is going on. It’s so easy to go off on a negative tangent and complain about things, but like they say…it uses less number of facial muscles to smile than frown. #blogcrush
What a good idea! I definitely include the bad bits – she didn’t sleep, I’m knackered, they’ve been difficult today (you get my point) but for those moments there have been loads of positives! So I’ll work on adding those in instead #blogcrush
Honestly, I find it really hard to leave the bad bits on the editing floor, but once I get into the habit, I find it really helps to lift my mood. The problem is, I have a good few weeks and then I slip back into old habits… Must. Keep. Going.
Lucy, I so get this, I felt like you were writing this just for me (oh, how delightfully self-absorbed lol). So instead of running with scissors, I should use them to edit my life, snip snip bad stuff.
Dropped by from your awesome #BlogCrush and so happy I did. I’m off to try and do all the rules, but if I don’t I’m blaming those scissors for snipping away the wrong stuff (practice makes perfect?).
Hope this weekend treats you kindly and by the way, can you drop this post and others by my blog party, please, please, pretty please? 😉
Thank you for joining us at #blogcrush Donna. I really pleased to hear that this post spoke to you
I love this post, I could definitely do with editing in some more good bits sometimes. I definitely tend to focus on the bad bits more though #blogcrush
I try and look for the good in things and for the silver lining, but sometimes it’s hard!
Agreed. It’s a really difficult thing to do…
I have so much love for this at the moment; we have had a pretty rough homelife recently and I have certainly been on the editing front every day! Its so helpful to just try and focus on good and snippet way at the negative unless its absolutely necessary to share etc… no bad vibes! <3 #coolmumclub
I’m so sorry to hear that things have been difficult recently. I do find that editing out the bad bits (or perhaps just the insignificant bad bits) really helpful so I hope it is good for you too
I hear you! I went on a 5 week child behaviour course recently and it really made me reflect on my negativity around the kids – I need to smile more, praise them more and generally focus on all the good bits to encourage more of the same! It definitely applies to the rest of my life too 😉
Thanks for sharing with #coolmumclub
I loved reading your post about this course too. It’s the same principle really and I think purposefully looking for the positives means that you feel more positive and so more positive things happen
and this is why I adore your posts! So so much better to be a glass-half-full kind of girl. yes it’s easier to leap into the negatives but oh boy life feels so much better when you think about the good xx #CoolMumClub
Thank you. What a lovely comment to leave 🙂 🙂
Love this! I am definitely guilty of only telling my hubby about all the rubbish stuff that’s happened during the day..from now on I’m going to follow your example and only share the good stuff and focus on that instead of the bad xxx #coolmumclub
Oh Lucy this is such a great idea, it’s so important to count one’s blessings (as my mum always says) on a daily basis, but we often don’t remember to do it when talking to others! The only thing I would say is that sometimes sounding too positive can sound a little smug so I do try to make sure to balance it out with a few I do find such and such challenging so people don’t think my life is all just a walk in the park and wonder why they are struggling! Because the truth is I am often struggling too! I have started a gratitude diary on my personal facebook page where I mention one thing I’m grateful for and it’s really helped me focus on the positives, at the end of each day. I think my positive for today would be getting home from work early and getting to hang out with the kids a little before bedtime! #brillblogposts
That is a good point – we don’t want to seem like we’re showing off. I hate it when people go on about how amazing they are. But then I think I over-compensate and go too far the other way. I’ve been thinking about doing a gratitude list on my blog too – I’ve seen other bloggers do them and they seem like such a lovely idea
This post is a great reminder to concentrate on the positives in life – to help keep perspective and balance. This is definitely something I’m going to try to do. #SharingtheBlogLove
I think this is so important – the more you do it the more it comes naturally too! I find that sometimes I do need to have a bit of a rant to someone about something negative, but I’m far better now at getting it out of my system and moving on. I’m definitely someone who looks back on things and often it’s the happy memories that I remember, I subconsciously filter out the bad bits! Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove
Everyone has bad moments, and its important not to dwell on the bad and stay focused on the good! Why waste energy being upset? Life should be enjoyed, have fun and remember that bad times will happen and its about picking yourself up and moving on.
http://www.mycitymylondon.me
I’ve had to learn to let the bad moments go more and not dwell on them. I like a good rant to get it off my chest, but then I try to move on. I don’t hold grudges and I don’t take the bad stuff with me. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove
I enjoyed this, I am a really positive person but lately I feeling a little negative. If something goes wrong I once could easily shake it off but I definitely struggle to let it go lately. I hate feeling like this and I am hoping this phase will pass soon. #sharingthebloglove
Aaah I hope you are coping a bit better now. It can be hard when you’re in a negative phase…
[…] amazing – I find that I become a more positive person as a result. I loved Lucy’s post, How to Edit your Life and Get the Happy Back. It’s up to you what things you carry with you and what you let go, and that can have a huge […]
Great post. It’s very easy to focus on the negative things. But sometimes you just have to talk them through before you can move on.
#sharingthebloglove
I agree with letting all the positives fill your space. Obviously you have to acknowledge the negatives but then move on. #sharingthebloglove
Absolutely. It’s a combination of both. Sometimes you do just need to chat it all out with someone. But then it’s important to try and move on and focus on the positives. Thanks for your comment
This is a great idea! I love mindfulness, though I’m bad at practising it to be honest, and this is a fabulous – and easy! – way to make a small change. It’s very like listing the things you have managed to achieve in a day instead of looking at what you didn’t get around to. Thanks for posting! #SharingtheBlogLove
Yes absolutely. And it does make such a difference to your point of view if you can think this way
I absolutely love this! I have never thought about it like this before but you are so right! It is up to us to edit what we don’t need/want! 100% doing this from now on!
#Sharingthebloglove
So glad you find it helpful
Hi, I love this. We should all try to focus on the positives no matter what they are. Time to think what I achieved in a day not what I didn’t #sahringthebloglove
So hard not to get bogged down in the daily grind, but we could all benefit from doing this, and thus making ourselves a little bit happier! #sharethebloglove
A great post. Better to be a glass half full type of person. #sharingthebloglove
I’m loving this post. I used to think I was pretty positive, but I’m actually quite negative in a LOT of ways. I’ve been working hard on being less negative and being more optimistic and positive, but it’s so hard to break the habit. It’s time to really settle down in the editing room and EDIT, EDIT, EDIT! #SharingTheBlogLove
Yes it can be so easy to just slip back into a negative way of thinking. Keep editing 🙂
I have a vivid memory of being locked in the dining room as a child and played ‘always look on the bright side of life’. I wanted to jump out of the window but dad did have a point. It’s far better to let the bad go and focus on the positives. #SharingtheBlogLove
I love this, a great perspective. I’ve started listing things I’m grateful for each month in an attempt to list the positives!
#SharingtheBlogLove
That sounds like a great idea
I definitely need to do this and try looking for the positives! Great post!
#sharingthebloglove
I actively try to look for the positives. I feel that reeling of the negative points was making me feel bad sometimes and my husband doesn’t want to hear them! I will only include the bad things if they have a funny twist or I’m close to melting down! #sharinghebloglove
I think it makes such a difference if we actively search for positives. But, as you say, sometimes you just need to let it all out before you have a meltdown
It definitely depends on my mood as to whether I look back on the good or bad bits of the day! But to be honest I literally tell my husband what we did from start to finish when he walks in and that way the good and bad are all mixed up (usually!) I think it’s good to focus on the positives too, without pretending life isn’t hard. But I find if I just moan about things to my husband he gets annoyed, tells me how lucky I am, and gives me a big dose of perspective! #SharingtheBlogLove x
Yes my husband is good for giving me a more objective view on things too. He can cut through the emotion and be much more logical about things
Great post. Only the other day I was thinking I can be bit of a glass half full kind of person. This has made me think about changing that attitude. So today I have had a wonderful, sunny walk with my dog and an afternoon of blogging. Not bad!
This sounds great! Being outside definitely improves my mood too
My gratitude journal has become a welcome habit and one that makes me mentally note good things throughout the day. I then have to recall them (because I purposefully don’t write them down at the time) and it’s had such a positive effect on my outlook. #brillblogposts
I think lots of people tend to get caught up in the negatives and parents (especially of young children) are probably more likely to simply because of the stress. But I agree. I gave myself a pep talk recently as I’d started wondering if i’d made the right choice becoming a stay at home parent. As you say the constant ‘No!’s and chores were getting me down. But then I realised I’d chosen to do this and a lot of the time I am having fun with my boys, or I get five mins to read a blog post like this in the garden with a cup of tea. And if I spend my time in this phase of life moaning I will look back with regret once I’m back in an office. So I am also trying to relax about the mess, say no less, and focus on the fun and crazy world of having one and three year old boys! They won’t be young for long…