To The Lady Googling “Full Time Mum Need A Break”


To the poor woman out there who just googled, “full time mum need a break ”,

I know this post comes too late for you but I hope you found something useful on my site. Most of the time, google won’t tell me how you found this blog, but on very rare occasions, it keeps a record.

When I saw what you had typed, my heart went out to you.

I am a full time mummy

I am a full time mummy too. We both know it’s a wonderful job, but it’s also ruthlessly relentless.

Every day, no matter what, you have to show up. And not just for the 9 to 5, or even the 8 to 6. You are working from the moment your feet touch the ground, to the moment your head touches the pillow.

And then the night shift starts…!

Being a full time mum is the most full time job you can possibly have. You never “clock off”.

Your weekends, when everyone else is getting a couple of days off and a change of scenery, are exactly the same as your week days. Your evenings are only allowed to happen once your mini master decides to fall asleep, and even then, you are restricted to an evening of whispering in the living room with the subtitles on the TV.

You try to mix it up – add some variety and routine to the week – but sometimes the hours feel long, and they blur seamlessly into each other, stretching into days, weeks, months.

Yes mummy – you absolutely need a break!

stay at home mum need a break - small child on an adventure walking in a muddy stream

You need a break

You need a break so much, your eyes are stinging and your back aches. You spend 85% of your life sat on the floor and the other 15% walking around with a small child slung on your hip.

You need a break because you do the same thing day in, day out. You need a break because you somehow muster the energy to make Peppa Pig Visits The Fair just as exciting on fifth reading as it was the first time you read it, 15 minutes ago!

stay at home mummy need a break - child's drawing of herself and her mummy

You need a break because you are permanently on high alert.

Your little one doesn’t understand that the cup of coffee is boiling hot or that jumping down the stairs could result in a broken neck. Even after the tenth time of saying it, she will forget that licking the floor could make her poorly and that throwing a ball around could smash the lamp.

You cannot allow yourself to be distracted for a moment – that’s all the time it takes for a child to drink something poisonous from the cleaning cupboard or run across the road in front of a car.

Living life at that level of intensity, with no off switch, is utterly exhausting.

Yes mama – you need a break.

full time mummy need a break - two small children climbing very high up on a climbing frame

11 ways to take a break when you’re a full time mum

But I get it – we all know that we need a break… there just isn’t time for one. There is always one more thing on the to-do list.

Maybe, like me, you don’t have any family nearby to help out or you don’t have a partner to share the load. Maybe you’ve got several children to keep up with and a family pet. Perhaps you’ve got older kids who need transporting to after school clubs or need help with homework.

Maybe your life feels like a total whirlwind.

Let me tell you this – you still need a break!

In fact you need a break more. Constantly giving and giving and giving eventually morphs from selfless love to self abuse and you just can’t let that happen.

Full time mum need a break - mum choosing from a box of chocolates

So here are 11 ways to take a break, even if you’re a full time mum. They may not be perfect solutions but it’s a start.

  1. Have a shower – put some toys on the bathroom floor so you can keep an eye on your little one at the same time
  2. Sneak a biscuit – we’ve all done it! Stick your head in a kitchen cupboard and stuff a biscuit in your mouth before any of the kids know what’s happening
  3. Scroll your social media – you are not a bad mum for scrolling – social media connects you to the outside world as well as to the person you are (or were) without the mum label
  4. Do some colouring in – it’s surprisingly relaxing and your little one will enjoy sharing the fun with you
  5. Put your favourite music on – rock out to your favourite band and watch your kid create some crazy dance moves
  6. Do some online shopping – buy yourself a little treat and wait for it to arrive in the post
  7. Go for a drive – it will get you out of the house and might be the only time you’re guaranteed a seat completely to yourself!
  8. Put your little one in the bath – kids love splashing around and you can just sit and watch for a bit while they entertain themselves with the water
  9. Go to a baby / toddler group – there will be loads of new toys for them to explore and you’ll probably get a sit down and a cup of tea
  10. Put the TV on – letting the TV babysit your kid for half an hour is totally okay, especially if it means you finally get a chance to rest
  11. Curl / straighten your hair – do something nice for yourself – a bit of a pamper – you deserve it!

Now I’m not saying that any of these will fully recharge your batteries – you’re still going to be mumming right through them all – but letting a little bit of yourself resurface can really help to refresh you.

And now, before you do anything else, text that friend who offered to babysit once – get it booked in and plan something really exciting.

To the poor woman out there who just googled, “full time mummy need a break”, this post is for you. And I hope you got the rest you so desperately needed.

Love Lucy xx

 

What do you do when you need a break? Do you have any top tips for mums (and dads) who are feeling a bit overwhelmed? And be honest – how often have you stuck your head in a cupboard to sneak a cheeky biscuit?! Hehe. I love to hear your thoughts and I always read all comments so please let me know below.

 

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11 Practical Ways for Full Time Mums To Take A Break - self care for mums is so important but sometimes there just doesn't seem to be enough time in the day. Here are 11  easy self care for stay at home moms ideas that you can start using right now!

19 Comments

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  1. 1
    Rachael

    I totally use showers as a break from the kids. I remember when my oldest was little, I would put him in his activity center and place it right outside the bathroom so I could hear him, but have some time to myself. Thanks for this post. It can be so hard being a stay-at-home mom, it’s always nice to be reminded to take time for ourselves.

  2. 2
    Charlene | High Heels & Fairy Tales

    I love this post! I’m a full time mummy too, so I get it, all of it! It’s the most rewarding job ever, but an extremely exhausting one too. I love that you mentioned that bit about being on permanent high alert – this is literally me! Maybe I’m overly paranoid, but I’m constantly on high alert, even now that she’s eight! Also, I love the tips you mentioned on how we can take that little break now and then. They’re small, and practical, and they do help. #BlogCrush

  3. 4
    Soffy

    Amazing post as usual Lucy! Mums DO need a break but sometimes when a Mum voices this she is shot down by comments like ‘well, you decided to have a baby’ as if though that even makes any sense! Sometimes she is made to feel that it is wrong to switch off for a bit and ungrateful. But the points you’ve put forward on how we can fit our break in is so useful especially for those who really can’t venture out of the house for a break#blogcrush

  4. 5
    Bellissimamma

    This is a very timely post for me! Yesterday, I googled something similar. I just wanted to share a very sad experience. My husband’s female friend called me “scary” because I am constantly on high alert, like I am doing this mom thing to an extreme. I really got hurt by what she “messaged” to my husband. But then again, she couldn’t get pregnant so maybe it was her way to compensate for her own loneliness. After reading your post, it made me feel better knowing that being on “high alert” is normal for mothers. Of course, we want our babies to be safe, and to be loved, and to be protected…all the time. And because of this high-stress level we as parents are experiencing every day (dads included), we all need to relax and take a break. Now I’m going to take a shower! 🙂 🙂

    • 6
      Lucy At Home

      Oh yes I can understand why that upset you. I think, as parents, it’s our job to be on high alert – we have mini humans to keep safe, and they’re mini humans who can’t always assess the danger for themselves. I think you’re right that it may just be her way of dealing with things and processing it all. I hope you manage to have a bit of a break today 🙂

  5. 7
    Anne

    My kids are at school now but I still remember those hectic days of keeping them occupied, keeping an eye on them all day and most of the night. Of course Mum’s need a break and your tips are great. It doesn’t last forever though and there even comes a time when you miss those moments and long for school holidays.
    #BlogCrush

  6. 8
    Liberty Henwick

    Those are the mum trenches, those years of non-stop on the go full alertness! Thankfully they pass but when you are in them they can be overwhelming, especially as you are probably lacking sleep too. When mine were small I’d nap for an hour in the afternoon with my baby and put a dvd on for the older ones. Putting your baby in a pram and going for a walk is also a good break (if they sleep!), the exercise does you good too. #blogcrush

  7. 9
    Sara @ Magical Mama Blog

    All 11 of these ideas are the perfect “mom breaks” you can still enjoy your kiddos, but you can have a minute to treat yourself a fraction of how well you treat your kids. All moms need a break. Especially with people being as horrible as ever with mom shaming leading to mom guilt.
    #BlogCrush

  8. 10
    Katelynn|hampersandhiccups.com

    Great ideas! It is extremely draining being a mama. Especially when you’re trying to start/run a business from home at the same time! Nap times are not for relaxing, those are the few precious hours you get to do your own work. Something that really helps me with my 2 kids is having them on a routine (it had them sleeping through the night at 3 WEEKS and 2.5 months respectively). #blogcrush

  9. 11
    Sophie

    When mine were younger, I would go outside once they were in bed and water the garden! My Hubbie would listen out for crying. It was a mindless activity that I enjoyed. I now garden when I feel stressed or overwhelmed and it really helps me. What a lovely post Lucy! I really enjoyed this one. #Blogcrush

  10. 12
    Amanda

    You’re so right! Sometimes as mothers we put ourselves on the back burner, but self care is so important. Thanks for the great tips on the little ways to indulge! #blogcrush

  11. 14
    Hayley @ Mission: Mindfulness

    Goodness – the poor lady feeling like she had to type that into google. This post is lovely and reassuring – I really hope she comes across it. Yes parenting is relentless and hats off to SAH parents – I definitely go to my work for a break sometimes! I like your advice – lots of doable things here. #blogcrush xx

  12. 15
    Alice | Letters to my Daughter

    I’m always sneaking something from the cupboard! Except I’ve started not buying myself treats because ti was getting a bit too regular! My treat is a hot chocolate while the TV babysits, a lie in at the weekend and maybe an extra long shower when Dee’s in good hands. #BlogCrush

  13. 17
    Tracey Bowden

    My daughter is 12 now and all of this made me nod my head. It is so hard and non stop but I know I am very, very lucky, as a single parent, to have her dad be involved and she can pretty much stay at his whenever she wants to outside of his normal set days. I’m not sure I would have been able to cope sometimes without his help #blogcrush

  14. 18
    Louise (Little Hearts, Big Love)

    Love your list of suggestions of how to have a little break while still full-time mumming. It can be so hard and relentless at times and it’s so true that we all need a break every now and then. I’ve stopped feeling guilty about using the TV as a babysitter at times – it gives me that short period of time to switch off a litlte and relax and I’m a better mummy for being able to have that little break.

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