Full Time Mum vs. Blogger
I am a full time, stay at home mummy. As of about 2 months ago, I am also a blogger. And herein is the dilemma! I am beginning to wonder if these two statements are actually compatible.
Why I Became a Blogger
- To be creative
- To have grown-up conversations
- To meet other people
- To get advice about parenting
- To be chatty – blogging is bit like chatting to your best mate
- To do something that is for ME (as opposed to ‘Jenny’s mum’)
- To build up my self esteem
- To vent
- To keep my brain active and stimulated
- To be part of a community
- To contribute something to the world
- To have a voice
- To expand my horizons
- To help parents who are struggling with the same issues as me
- To share the joy of parenting
- To spread happiness and positivity
- To try something new
- To have an opinion
- To be me
- To meet with like-minded people
- To meet with people who challenge my opinions
- To grow as a person
The Sticking Point
I think I am well on the away to achieving a lot those goals and, for the most part, I have really enjoyed my new ‘blogger’ title.
BUT IT IS TIME CONSUMING.
I am ashamed to confess that I am playing with my children and simultaneously wondering how I could interpret this moment in a blog post. I regret that I have paused storytime because I’ve just had inspiration for a tweet. I hate that I am not the fully devoted, 100% there mummy that I was in post number 1.
Is It Possible?
I know I’m an over-thinker, but I am really grappling with this issue. Can anyone ever truly claim to be a full time mum who blogs? Surely, by definition, once you start dividing your time, you no longer fit the criteria?
But on the other hand, I am enjoying this new adventure. A happy mummy who feels like she’s contributing to the world must be a good mummy to have around? I am demonstrating a life lesson which is important for us all to learn – do the best you can with whatever you have to hand. I am modelling ambition and a willingness to adapt and grow. These are great things for my children to see.
So for now, I will press on, in the hope that the more familiar I become with this new world, the less intrusive it will be on family life. Perhaps I will get quicker as I get more to grips with the technology. Perhaps I will get better at setting the boundaries between everyday life and blogger life. Perhaps I will fall into more of a routine as I find out what the work really entails.
All I really know is this; if it doesn’t ease off soon, the blogging will have to go – I choose family!
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Really enjoyed this post. This is something I have struggled with. I have been blogging for 18 months now and didn’t find it too bad alongside looking after my 3 year old except now I am pregnant with twins and I’m sad to say my blog has suffered. I just don’t have the time or energy. Really hoping I can kick start it again! xx
Oh wow – congratulations on your pregnancy. No wonder you’re tired, especially expecting twins! I found pregnancy totally exhausting. I am very new to blogging so I don’t really have the answers but I’m beginning to see that a mummy blog just needs to be done as and when it can be – we’re all so busy and blogging is mostly a case of grabbing a spare 5mins whenever you can! I hope you can find some energy and time for it soon. Thanks for commenting. L
I’m blogging a month now and am overwhelmed by how much time blogging actually takes up. You font just write post and run. There’s a hundred other things involved in blogging. I wonder would I have started if I knew how time consuming it is. But Im absolutely loving it. I work full time and have a toddler so finding time can be tough. Every spare minute I have I’m blogging or tweeting or finding new blogger friends! #coolmumclub
Yes I don’t think I’d have taken it if I’d known how time consuming it was, but I’m enjoying it so much, I don’t want give it up now!
I know exactly what you mean! Every outing or moment is converted to a blog post in your brain and it’s difficult to turn that off once you start blogging. Lately, I’ve had to make decisions when to take my camera with me and when not to as I don’t want to miss everything. #coolmumclub
Yes I think creating boundaries is the answer. Ring-fence family time. It’s tricky though!
Welcome to the world of Mummy Blogging It is a constant dilemma for most of us but I go with a balance that works for me now and try not to stress about missing out a linky every now and again if there are more pressing issues at home ( or if the laundry pile has grown so big it’s taking over the room!) Remember you are in charge of your blog, not vice versa. Do what you can and remember to enjoy it! X
Thanks for the advice. It’s encouraging to hear that even well-established mummy bloggers struggle with it too – I just thought you must all be supermums who could do anything! L
#coolmumclub
This hit the nail on the head for sure! When ever we do something there is always a thought in the back of my mind of how I can turn this activity into a blog post…. It’s hard to fit everything in around cleaning, cooking, daily tasks, playing, getting the little one cleaned, bathed and put to bed plus everything else in between throughout the day, it’s hard to actually get anything done without sacrificing something. Great post!!
#coolmumclub
Jordanne || Thelifeofaglasgowgirl.co.uk
Glad I’m not the only one! It’s a juggling act for sure! Thanks for commenting. L
Great read – family must always come first for sure – I hope you find a balance – if I’m honest I felt a little like you in those early months and then things fall more into place and you get more into a routine – I was ready to quit after month 2 but now 6 months in I’m loving it again! Hope you find something that works for you because it’s a wonderful club to be part of would be nice to have the best of both worlds – good luck lovely xx #coolmumclub
Oh good this gives me hope that things will start to fall into place soon! Glad you liked the post. Thanks so much for commenting. L
I started my blog for similar reasons as you, but I also have doubts as to how I fit it all in and if my child is actually suffering as a result. I’m due back to work soon so it’s another issue to add! I used to write all my blog posts one handed during the long night feeds when bubs was tiny, but now it’s all about fitting them in before he wakes, during nap time or when he’s fixated by some toy for more than 30 seconds! Its hard but as you say, part of the reason you started was to be something other than a Mummy, and I think a blog is the perfect outlet for this. You’ll learn to find the perfect balance. Keep on blogging #coolmumclub
It’s just another thing to have mummy guilt about! Aaargh! I do mine during nap time but at almost 2, I’m not sure the naps are going to last much longer!
I totally understand what you are writing about. I am right now typing these lines while the baby is on my lap and I am amusing him with a toy in my other hand! It gets frustrating at times. I wish he was sleeping more to do my stuff lol. But that’s ok, I signed up for that and he is my top priority whatever happens with my blog. #coolmumclub
Haha yes multitasking is the name of the game! Thanks for commenting. L
I doubt there is a parenting blogger who hasn’t felt like this. I think I wrote a post about 2 months in about finding a blog-life balance.
Charlie (Mess & Merlot) hit it on the head perfectly with her reply – you are the boss of your blog. Cut yourself some slack and make up your own rules. Take days off, in fact take whole weeks off. Don’t feel bound to linkies, just join in when you feel like it.
For me, blogging has been an accompaniment to my time as a stay at home Mum – without it I don;t think I could have stuck it out. I needed something else to think about other than the endless chores. That said, I have made sure the days don’t centre around the blog – my laptop is reserved for naptimes or the evening. But I’m probably guilty of the occasional phone zone out while cbeebies is on! We’re only human…
Good luck! Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub.
x MMT
Judging by the comments (and the timing of my own post), 2 months is the sticking point! I guess you’re far enough in to realise what a mammoth task it is, but still very new and trying to figure it all out. Thanks for the advice. L
I guess it depends what you want from your blog. If it’s just for creativity/fun/community then just dip in & out when you have time. If it’s something you want to grow or make an income from then it is very time consuming. Remember to enjoy it else it’s just not worth it. #coolmumclub lifeinthemumslane
This is a good perspective to have. I’m not very good at knowing when to stop – I just throw myself in hook, line and sinker. Total perfectionist. I usually don’t even notice I’m doing it until I’ve wasted hours of my life on something that really didn’t need it! Thanks for commenting. L
Trying to find the blog-life balance is something that I think all of us struggle with at one point or another – I remember feeling very much like this last year and took a big step back as a result. The advice that has already been given so far in the comments is so good – that reminder that it is your space, your blog and to not feel pressure to post or join in linkies. Good luck with finding the balance that works for you. #coolmumclub
It has been a great encouragement to me to hear that others have felt like this, but managed to find a way through. Thank you. L
I’ve had to start restricting myself to blogging only at night or if little miss is occupied or napping. It’s hard because it’s absolutely addictive #sharingthebloglove
Yes I think that’s the only way really. Thanks for commenting. L
I feel your pain. Finding the right balance is SO difficult. Stay blogging though – IMO taking time out for your own projects can only be beneficial to boosting your sense of identity and self esteem.
I think you’re right – it’s good to have your own projects and have your own identity. Thanks for commenting. L
Hi Lucy,
I’m only a couple of weeks in, so not too far behind you and I know exactly what you mean! I keep finding myself saying ‘just a minute…’while I tweet or …erm ‘gram??
There’s got to be some balance, but now I’ve caught the blogging bug I think I’d be sad to give it up. I hope you find a way to do both happily.
#SharetheBlogLove
Well welcome to the world of blogging from a fellow newbie! It is very addictive isn’t it?! L
Getting that blog/life balance is so difficult! I think it’s a constant balancing act, but I do think after a few months you start to fall into more of a rhythm with it. I do think it’s so important as a mum to have something to focus on that is all yours, and blogging fits that so well. One thing I love is that blogging has made me more active in getting out and about with my little boy and exploring our local area. And it’s also encouraged me to take so many more photos, so moments that I never would have thought to capture are there and we have so many lovely memories to look back on. Thanks so much for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove – I really hope you’ll be back next week!
Oh lovely I’m the same sometimes iv been doing it for about 9 months and I find it really hard to switch off. My mind is always whizzing with ideas that I feel like I’m never present – I do often wonder how bloggers do it!!! #sharingthebloglove
Great post and you’re so right. I haven’t sacrificed time with my children, but I’ve totally sacrificed time with my husband and time for myself. I work and blog when my girls are asleep or out. It’s hard going but I guess it will get easier as they get older.
Nat.x
I’m with you in hoping it will get easier, but I have a horrible feeling that the more entrenched in blog culture I become, the more work I see that needs doing! It’s a good job we enjoy it! Thanks for the comment. L
Yeah I can totally empathise with this! I work part time, then have the kids and blogging too. It’s a real balancing act to try not to let it impact on quality time with them and I need to be mindful of that. Hopefully the perks will give it balance like extra days out and fun things for review.
Yes I hadn’t thought of the ‘perks’ as I haven’t worked with any companies yet with my blog being so new. Maybe one day! L
I have been blogging for 6 months and it can be overwhelming at times and I think everyone feels like this. There is definitely a balance that you need to find and I am sure that you will. I blog when my girls aren’t with me or are asleep, so it doesn’t directly impact them. But, I have neglected the house work and my husband to blog. But blogging has given me so much already and as a result I am a better mummy. Thank you for linking up to #SharingtheBlogLove x
Yes I think blogging is making me a better mummy. That is a very good point. It is making me more reflective, less judgemental of other’s choices, and happier because I’m doing something for me. Thanks for your insight. L
Finding a balance is always tough. I think as long as you’re happy then keep going, if it starts to make you unhappy then stop. Simples. Blogging is a great way to work out who you are after having children. It allows you to keep a real part of yourself alive rather than being ‘just a mum’. Not that that is a bad thing. I hope things ease up for you and you manage to find a balance. xx
#coolmumclub
[…] it – the minute I found out I was pregnant, I was determined to be a full-time, 100% there, totally devoted […]
I’m in a similar boat! I am also a SAHM and recently (a few weeks ago) started up my own blog too. I feel guilty sometimes when I’m sitting there writing a new post, or changing things about my blog; I think to myself that I could be playing with my LO or doing something else like cleaning or situating dinner. I have to remind myself that even though I’m at home, I’m still allowed to have “me” time, passions, and interests. That although I am a mommy first, there is still more to me than that. I was happy to read your post and realize I’m not the only blogger out there struggling with this new adventure. Thanks sharing!
#SharingtheBlogLove
Hi Hollie! And welcome to the world of blogging!
You’re absolutely right about needing ‘me’ time and I’ve found blogging a really good way to have my only little space. My blog is now 3.5mth and I’m still trying to find the right balance but I think it’s getting easier and I’m getting into more of a rhythm.
I also think blogging is helping me become a better mum because I’m reading others mums’ advice and experiences, as well having somewhere to share how I’m feeling.
Glad you enjoyed the post and thank you for leaving a comment. L
I get this. I find scheduling a few breaks completely blog free and having a few days off really does the trick but like everything in life it’s always a balancing act #dreamteam
Yes I’ve started trying to have my weekend blog-free in terms of writing, but because that’s when we do family things, I can’t forget about it completely because I’m taking photos and making notes on our trips, ready to write up during the week. It’s so busy! Haha
ah the blogging dilemma – I think you have to focus on the benefits to you that blogging brings because I believe that a fulfilled mummy makes a better mummy – you mention these points in your writing and I adore this sentiment: ‘I am modelling ambition and a willingness to adapt and grow. These are great things for my children to see.’ That’s the selling point to me as to why you should continue but the balance needs to be there – hope you’re finding it. I’ve struggled a little over the summer holidays to give blogging enough attention but maybe next year I’ll take the summer off and not stress about it so much. Thanks for sharing this post #DreamTeam
I worry that I’ve spent too much time on it this summer. Because I’m new, I haven’t wanted to cut back in case I lose the momentum I’ve been building. During term time, I try to limit blogging stuff to my daughter’s naptime but during the holidays, I have my older child at home who doesn’t nap! I did take a complete break for a week when we were on holiday, though. It’s all such a balancing act!
Oh I can completely relate to this! I’ve just started as well and wish I could give more and more time to my blog! A difficult balancing act! Maybe it will get a bit easier as I actually understand what I’m doing!! #dreamteam
The post is from a few months ago and it is getting a bit easier. I think I’m speeding up a bit with some of the tasks and I’ve got into a bit of a routine which helps. It still feels like there’s so much to do though! I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it all soon. L
Blogging, in my opinion, has become a new way of keeping a journal, which we are more than happy to share with anyone who is willing to read and comment on it.
It is stored away for our children to read one day and see how we felt and dealt with things, which, might make them appreciate us and everything we have done as parents.
So, I say, keep blogging #DreamTeam
Do you know, I never thought about my kids reading it later on. Oh I wonder what they’ll make of it?! Thanks for that interesting comment 🙂
I don’t have much to add except to second the comments made above. I think Mess and Merlot hit the nail on the head there-it’s your blog and you are in control of it, the blog isn’t in control of you. That said, we definitely all feel this way from time to time, as we want people to read what we have spent so much time reading and promoting! #dreamteam
I found it really encouraging to know that so many other people have felt like this too. It is a post I wrote a few weeks back when I was feeling very overwhelmed by the workload but I think I am getting to grips with it again now. Although once the kids go back to school and our routine changes again, who knows?! Haha. Thank you for commenting, L
I fully agree with everything you’ve said. I also think about how I can turn moments into blog posts. But I also think it helps me appreciate moments more because I want to remember the details to write about them. I try to keep blogging to naptimes and after bedtime but occasionally it encroaches! #DreamTeam
Yes I always plan to keep blogging to naptimes but then when you phone starts bleeping with notifications, it’s really hard to ignore. That’s what I find anyway. *Need more self-discipline* lol
[…] been blogging for about 5 months now. I didn’t really know what I was letting myself in for when I started but it has been a total lifeline for […]
Oh how I take my hat of to all you lovely mummies <3 I worked full time with both of my children and felt the same guilt. Guilt is something you have forever once you have children. I now have grandchildren (obvs I'm a very young nanny) gave up my 9 to 5, running my own company with 15 staff when my mum died, 6 months ago. Blogging and all that comes with it is very addictive and very hard work.The great advantage I have now is I can help my daughter out when she needs me, that feels pretty good. Keep going everyone xxx
Oh dear – I’m not sure I want to know that I’m ALWAYS going to feel this guilty… lol
It’s lovely that you can help out with your grandchildren now, but I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. L
Hi Lucy, since this is an old post, I’m sure you must have discovered a good rhythm by now. I am currently a stay at home mom and started blogging last month, right? So, this post resonates well with me, although for the time being, I’m still putting being a mom first and blogging at night. I do crave the social interaction as a blogger since it’s always just me and my daughter at home. None of my close friends are married and none of them have kids, so blogging is really cathartic for me as well…to just have a place to pour out my thoughts. Like now…here I am rambling on one of your old posts. Take care!
Thank you for your detailed, thoughtful response here, Paula. I think generally I have started to find a rhythm where I can balance blogging and parenting, but there are still times when I think it’s all too much and I think about throwing in my blogging towel. But then I enjoy it so much and it’s become such a big part of my life now – I can’t imagine being without it!