The School Holidays: Did I Fail You, Little One?
The school holidays are almost over. Back in July, it felt like we had an eternity stretching before us. Now the days are spilling through my fingers like water.
We had so many grand plans. We wanted to see and do everything.
School Holidays: the problem
But things don’t always go to plan. It is hard to share with your little sister. It is tiring going on adventures.
Sometimes, things that shouldn’t be annoying, really, really are.
I want you to know that I understand. I feel it too.
There have been some really infuriating days – times when we’ve just got angry at each other for no reason. Sometimes I’ve clock-watched, desperately waiting to hear the click of the key in the door – the sign that daddy is home and I am no longer outnumbered.
I’m sorry.
I don’t want you to remember your school holidays like this.
School Holidays: the fear
The truth is, I love having you at home! You are my funny one. You love to snuggle up next to me and watch TV. You tell me I’m beautiful, just because you want to.
My sweetheart, I love spending time with you.
As our time is drawing to a close, and attention turns to the last minute “back to school” preparations, I feel my heart aching.
Did I do enough?
Have I really made the most of this time together? Have you enjoyed being at home? Have I used the time wisely? Have we deepened our bond? Have I nurtured you? Have I shown you how desperately I miss you when you’re at school?
Or have I spent too much time just trying to “get through” the holidays…?
School Holidays: the truth
But what I am learning, is that life is not all sunshine and flowers. It is impossible to “enjoy every minute”. Life has many minutes that are wholly unenjoyable. It’s not that we’re failing – it’s that we’re normal!
I have made so many fabulous memories this holiday that I can treasure. I need to trust that you have too.
We’ve splashed in the sea, camped in a forest, and explored a castle. We’ve laughed and joked. We’ve danced (endlessly…to the Moana soundtrack…!) We’ve had fun in each other’s company and enjoyed quiet, peaceful moments too.
We haven’t enjoyed every minute. That is a ridiculous goal. We have enjoyed the minutes that were enjoyable, and the real challenge is to savour those times.
I will be flicking through my photos for many years to come, reliving these happy times; letting the joy sink deep into my soul. I want to absorb every last drop.
I choose to remember the happy times. I will replay them over and over again – the day you flew your first kite, the time we got lost in a maze, the squeal you made as you drove your own car (go-kart).
This is what I remember. This is what I will take away. This was our school holidays.
The frustrations and annoyances? They will evaporate. They are not important. They don’t play on my mind because I look at you, and I am in love. I look at you and my life has purpose. You are my happy place, and I know that this family is yours!
We haven’t enjoyed every minute of the school holidays…but we’ve had a brilliant time!
Now how many days until October break??
If you’ve got your own bold girls, why not pop over to the the Lucy At Home t-shirt shop for a browse of our Pretty Fearless t-shirts!
Other colours and designs are available!
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Love this post. School holidays can sometimes way too long and the annoyance along with the expense can get to the parents. But I love how your wrapped up post that the annoyance and frustration will fade but that the memories will linger. It is all about quality time spent with our precious ones and making memories not just for us but for them as well.
I think it’s wonderful to go on adventures when school is out, but I also think it’s easy to plan too many things leaving everyone crabby and burned out. Those aren’t memories anyone wants to remember! #BlogCrush
Apologies forgot to add #blogcrush
awwww it sounds like you all had an amazing time. I’m super doubtful that he’d remember anything less than that. well done mummy #BlogCrush
So true! There are so many things we’ve done but a lot we haven’t. There is a lot of pressure to have done something meaningful everyday. Truth is my youngest has been ill a lot and my eldest has had a lot of boring doctors visits to tag along with. But I think it’s gone better than I expected. Not too many days when I’m tearing my hair out! #BlogCrush
This is a lovelt post. Honest and heartfelt. There’s no way it can be happiness all the time, as families you can get on each others nerves etc. As someone who will be home educating my kids from next year I have to keep this in mind as a permanent thing! Ha!
forgot to add #blogcrush!
Such a lovely post. I think we all feel that the summer holidays have passed too quick and we haven’t had as much fun as we had planned, but the truth is it’s the happy memories that stick. x
#blogcrush
This was my ‘last’ school holiday as my eldest finishes school next summer. I loved this post because, you are absolutely right….I dont remember the arguments, the rain (except the summer we dances to Umbrella, ella, ella outside in the rain), the Boring days of the children’s holidays, I remember the laughing, the sharing of memories and the treasured moments of swimming in a lake or camping in a forest. Thank you for the memories that you reminded me of. x #BlogCrush
#blogcrush what great pictures – a lovely souvenir of the summer
Lovely post! I totally agree that it’s impossible to “enjoy every minute” and expecting ourselves to do that is putting unrealistic pressure. Sounds like you had an amazing break with the kids. X #blogcrush
The school holidays can be tough at times, but like you, it’s the good times kids will tend to remember. #TriumphantTales
Such a lovely post. It is hard being a full time mum. Parenting is hard and you’re right the bad bits will evaporate and we should totally focus on the positives. Thanks for the reminder #triumphanttales
We had such grand plans of beach days and sunny days in the garden but the weather kinda ruined it for us. Next half term we’re planning things we can do in the rain!! 😉 #DreamTeam
we try not to do too much over school breaks as we all end up tired and my purse empties way too quickly, we love PJ days. But we try to get a few day trips in or a small holiday when we can. #blogcrush
I think we all wonder if we have done enough in the holidays. All that matters is that the children are happy. We have had great days out and great days at home. And of course we had those days where we were at home just getting stuff done lol.
#TriumphantTales
I had some of the same thoughts, but in the end we do the best that we can. Looks to me like you accomplished quite a bit and made some great memories. I think we all tend to be too hard on ourselves #triumphanttales
This is soooo beautiful Lucy. You took the words straight out of my mouth. I too love having Little Man at home, but as you said we are all but normal and we CANNOT be ‘doing something fun’ every minute – not when we have chores and blogs and this and that. But I feel terribly guilty when I just sit him in front of the TV (don’t know why coz he loves it!!!) or tell him to play by himself… but I guess we all are doing our best. Beautiful post yet again…
#DreamTeam
Lucy this is so touching. I’ve felt this same questioning as though there is a voice going around in my head saying “you’ve only got so many of these holidays to enjoy before they’ve grown up!” It adds so much pressure, but I think you have it exactly right. We can’t expect it to be perfect, but we can enjoy the perfect moments and save the perfect memories. Dx
Your photos are stunning Lucy. I think it sounds like you’ve made loads of lovely memories and you’ve had a lovely time. The holidays are hard work and everything can’t always be perfect. I’m sure your girls have really enjoyed their time with you xx #blogcrush
They do go so fast those few weeks of summer, I don’t feel we really made the most of them to be honest but then everything these days costs money. We did have a nice holiday at the start before she spent two weeks with her dad and then it was all about her with family and birthday celebrations so I think she’s had a nice time. I have welcomed the return to normality though have found the school run hard again and i’m exhausted by 7! #dreamteam
Beautifully honest and true, not every day can be fun, every moment enjoyable-life and the holidays are hard as much as they’re joyful. We’ve had some magical times here and some super-stressful ones too. I think life would be boring and we wouldn’t learn lessons if it was all sunshine and rainbows and that applies to them as much as us. Thanks for linking, lovely lady x
I love this and so relate! We have had such a lovely summer, we’ve had two holidays and countless days out, and done so many wonderful and exciting things…but at the same time we’ve had boring old days in and days when I’ve shouted at the kids and nights when I’ve just prayed for bedtime. I think enjoying every moment is impossible, and the children will always remember the lovely moments too. #stayclassymama
This has made me teary as you have beautifully articulated how Inahve been feeling. My eldest definitely found it frustrating at times with the twins and who can blame him? He’s 6 and they’re 2 and it was tiring for me to try and get everyone it the house at times. But still we had some brill moments – thank you for reminding me to focus on those and not the times we snapped at each other xx #ablogginggoodtime xx
Ah bless you.I felt like this about the last four years! Did I make the most of all that time i had my baby at home with me? Probably not, but I did what I could and that just has to be enough. I miss the little man so much in the afternoons and I can’t wait for the weekend already. I think it will make me appreciate them more now. Thanks for linking up to #TriumphantTales, hope to see you again next week! 🙂
This is such a sweet post for your child. I also think it’s a nice reminder for all parents to savor the good times and don’t spend wasted energy worrying about the times of struggle.
We didn’t tick off half of what we had planned for the holidays and there were quite a few quite days of doing nothing when the youngest was just too tired and tetchy to risk taking her anywhere. But, like you, there have still been so many great memories. It’s impossible to fill every moment with joy and laughter and outings, we all need down time x
#Ablogginggoodtime
This is such a great posts. I put a lot of pressure on myself to have a great holiday for my older boys this year…ignoring the fact that their new brother was due to be born at the very start of the break! Kids are more easily amused and pleased than we remember sometimes, and a lot of the time its the simple things they enjoy. I’m sure your kids (and mine) will look back on their summer fondly.
#stayclassymama
We were at a birthday party with my little today and had a conversation similar to this — 98% good moments, 2% not so good. So let’s focus on the good times. Makin’ memories are what it is all about. I’m a bit sad school started. Soon the days will be short and the dark of night will come early. I’m a summer kid at heart! <3 #ablogginggoodtime xo
Bring some blogger love your way from #stayclassymama xox
I feel exactly the same. I love having my eldest at home but i do feel like we are restricted on what we can do due to having a 1 year old. She does get frustrated sometimes and I tried my best to create fun holidays. Despite the not so good days we had had some fab days too x
#StayClassymama
Aww lovely I know exactly what you mean, the frustrations and cross words are sometimes inevitable but the memories you make together are what really lasts. Thanks for linking up to #dreamteam x
I don’t think it is possible to enjoy every minute but it looks like it was a good holiday all the same. I often feel the same about not being enough, not doing enough but I think the kids just love spending time with us even if we have some off days. Thank you for sharing with #StayClassyMama x
We all live with this constant guilt don’t we? I certainly do that we haven’t done enough, or we’re doing too much. I never quite feel satisfied that I got it right but hopefully they’ll all have very happy memories of the holiday times. #ABloggingGoodTime
It might be even better if I write #StayClassyMama! Sorry! xx
oh bless you. im sure the holidays were amazing xx
Thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime Don’t forget to join us this week!
If you try and make every day special, then special loses it’s meaning. Sounds like your family have a had a wonderful holiday! And it’s definitely not just you who longs for daddy to be home sometimes! <3 #BlogCrush