We all know them, don’t we – the perfect mums! The ones who are always early to pick their children up from school, complete with immaculate hair, a home-baked cake for the school raffle, and a healthy snack for their children to munch on the way home.
The Pinterest-Perfect Mums
Social media has put a lot of pressure on us mums. Not content with just seeing the perfect mums at school, we now have their educational craft activities and pristine kitchens beamed into our phones 24/7.
They always seem to know what’s going on at school. They breeze into the playground like they’ve had 10 hours to get ready. Their Facebook page is full of family trips to the museum and little Henry’s latest piano accomplishment. They somehow manage to let their toddler loose with a paintbrush without the sofa and walls getting covered in purple paint.
Nothing fazes them. Nothing ever goes wrong.
They are the perfect mums.
The pressure to “keep up” can be intense. Since when was “Christmas Eve Boxes” a thing? Who actually knows the difference between playdough, salt dough and cloud dough? And how do these people afford to kit their little darlings out in ethically-sourced organic cotton from head to toe?!
It’s irritating. They just think they’re so amazing, flouncing around like the world is filled with chocolate drops and rainbows, and that fake, over-sincere smile plastered on their perfectly lip-lined mouths! Grrr!
Maybe It’s Not About You…
But maybe, just maybe, she’s not as perfect as you think she is. Maybe she’s not going out of her way to wind you up. Maybe she’s not doing this as a personal vendetta to you. Maybe she’s not thinking about you at all.
Maybe she’s just trying to survive. Coping methods come in all different shapes and sizes.
- You might cope by sharing how rubbish you’re feeling. Maybe she copes by putting a brave face on things?
- You might cope by having a good old rant. Maybe she copes by clinging desperately to the positives?
- You might long for friends that will unpick every gory detail with you. Maybe she just wants someone to tell her she’s doing a good job?
Blogs are great because they “tell it how it is” – we’re the voices that share what parenting is like in real life. We offer a voice to the mums who are struggling. We stand up for the mums who are being judged, and who actually find parenting quite hard. We share our worries and failings to encourage others to keep going.
But there’s a growing trend in blogging to bash the Pinterest Perfect Mums because we’re “the real deal” and they’re just being “fake”.
Well actually…that’s not what I signed up for.
She’s A Real Person
Maybe being a mum is her “thing”; the one thing in life that she’s really good at. Why is that such a crime?
Or maybe she is putting on an act to cover up how hard she’s finding it. Maybe being positive and upbeat makes her feel positive and upbeat. I’m not sure that’s a crime either.
Either way, she’s a real person. She’s doing her absolute best for her children. She’s a good mum who cares about her kids.
Listen, I know we can’t all be perfect (and yes, she makes us look bad), but she’s trying her best to plot a course through parenting, just like the rest of us. She’s finding out what works for her and for her family. What right have we to to judge her for it?
Why is it suddenly about sticking up for the mums who are openly struggling, and beating down the ones who seem to be sailing through? Why is there a divide? Why can’t we support each other?
Why can’t we bloggers stand up for ALL mums?
…aaaaand the rant is over!
So what do you guys think? Are you perceived as one of the perfect mums (or dads) or do you prefer to bare all? Do you feel the pressure from society and social media to “keep up”?