The Day My Twitter World Fell Apart

Twitter is really new to me; I only joined in April 2016. I was totally terrified a little apprehensive about using it at first but I persevered and started to find my rhythm. I was enjoying it…until roughly three minutes ago!

Three minutes ago, my twitter world fell apart!

Ignorance Is Bliss

I’ve just used one of those apps that shows your following vs. your followers for the first time.

I’m not going to lie, I’m distraught!

I expected a few of the companies to have followed and then unfollowed me. I was prepared for that. But what has shocked me is the number of people that I regularly tweet, favourite, retweet, etc, who aren’t following me.

I see now that I have been ridiculously foolish naïve.

Is This How Twitter Works?

I had been getting really excited about almost reaching 1000 followers (985 at time of writing) and I dared to think that people actually cared about what I had to say. Now my confidence has taken a big blow.

I guess deep down, I feel betrayed.

How can they be happy to chat about their summer holidays with me without following me back?! I’d feel terrible if I was talking with someone that I didn’t even follow!

Is this normal? Is this how Twitter works? Does common decency not apply in the internet world?

I’m really upset (can you tell?! Haha).

Am I not interesting enough for people to follow?

I know I’m only a new blogger. I know I don’t have as many followers as you do. But everyone’s got to start somewhere, haven’t they? Just because I’m new doesn’t mean that I don’t write fantastic content. Just because I don’t have thousands of followers doesn’t mean you don’t have to play fair.

twitter lucy at home account

Calm Down, Lucy!

Now Lucy, you cannot let this setback get to you. You have worked hard to build up your social media following. You have worked hard to increase your blog subscriptions.

Those (almost) 1000 people who follow you, still follow you. They care what you have to say, regardless of how other twitter acquaintances have behaved.

And when it comes down to it, you enjoy the interaction on Twitter, don’t you!

  • You like hearing what people are up to
  • You like empathising with the other mums who’ve just discovered a beautifully crayoned picture of Mr Tumble on their bedroom wall!
  • You like to be pointed to new blogs and interesting reads.

None of those ‘non-followers’ can take that away from you.

Keep Going

Keep going, girl! Lucy At Home is only in its infancy. These things take time.

You are enthusiastic and dedicated. You are enjoying this experience. This is a hobby. It does not define who you are as a person. It does not define your worth.

Being a Mummy is far more important and precious than having a million twitter followers. Being a wife is more far more fulfilling and special than being the top blogger in the world.

Keep going! You’ve nearly made it to 1000!


Diary of an imperfect mum
Dear Bear and Beany


Add yours
  1. 1

    Ah lovely bless – I have never fully got in to Twitter, it is all about interaction but nobody seems to interact that much with me!! So I am at a loss! I do need to dedicate some time to it. I know the feeling though, on Instagram there were some followers I chatted to and interacted with only for them to unfollow me days later – i just don’t understand!!! #sharethebloglove

    • 2
      Lucy At Home

      I only have twitter at the moment (I definitely need to work on my photography skills before attempting to set up an Instagram account!). It would be so much nicer if people followed because they wanted to, rather as a tactical move only to un-follow at at later date. Chat to me on twitter, Natalie! I love making friends and getting to know my fellow bloggers 🙂

  2. 3

    Lucy! I did exactly this, I took its so personally when I saw who wasn’t following me! I try not to look now but it’s hard! You’re right though, I love your blog and you’re doing a great job! #ablogginggoodtime

    • 4
      Lucy At Home

      Aaaaw you’re a sweetie!!! What a lovely thing to say! xx

      I love your blog too! It’s one that stood out to me right from the first time I read it. So it means a lot to me that you like mine too 🙂

      I’m glad I’m not the only one who took it personally. It’s really hard not to…

  3. 5

    Twitter politics confuse the life out of me. And I’ve been on Twitter for 7 years (although my new twitter profile is only 6 weeks old). People get so precious over making sure they have more followers than people they’re following. It’s weird! #sharingthebloglove

    • 6
      Lucy At Home

      I don’t know if it makes me feel better or worse that you still don’t understand it after 7 years! Hahaha! There’s no hope for me! It is strange the strategies that people use to try and make themselves appear more popular. I think the key is just to write interesting stuff and then people will want to follow you (but again I’m probably being too naive again). Thank you for commenting. L

    • 10
      Lucy At Home

      Yeah there are some really weird tactics being played. Just popped over to your article and I’m as baffled by the strategies as you are! I’m glad I’m not the only one who doesn’t understand what’s going through their heads.

  4. 13
    Soppymum (Sara)

    Oh I so know how you feel! Twitter is a strange world where I feel like a complete outside. I have only been on here 2 months and I am none the wiser!!! #sharingthebloglove P.S off to check I’m that I’m following you x

    • 14
      Lucy At Home

      Twitter makes me feel like a techno-phobe – it’s so fast-paced and there’s so much that I don’t understand. I haven’t got my head around lists yet so I still have absolutely everyone on my feed. I definitely need to set some time aside to get to grips with this…

  5. 15
    Squirmy Popple

    Twitter can definitely be a bit of a bastard. I’m pretty sure that 90% of the people who followed me did so because they wanted me to follow them back, not because they were interested in what I had to say. But to the other 10% – hello! Let’s chat and share stuff. #ablogginggoodtime

    • 16
      Lucy At Home

      Yes I’m in the 10% – hello back!

      I think it’s definitely been a wake up call for me and I won’t be as naive in the future. But there have been some super nice comments on this post about it, and lots of people who genuinely want to connect, so at least something good has come out of it. Thank you for your comment. L

  6. 17

    Ahh I would have taken this a bit personally too. I didn’t even know you could check this but I’m not going to look as I don’t want to get pissed off haha. You’re doing amazing to nearly be at 1000 followers, keep going and don’t worry about those you do t follow you back xx #blogginggoodtime

  7. 19

    Dont be down hearted! 1000 is great. I think sometimes on Twitter you arent following people you think you are following. I think its hilarious that everytime I tweet I lose a couple of followers and if I have a couple of days without tweeting I gain followers. With blogging its easy to get obsessed with numbers – but just keep on doing your own thing and you’ll be ok. (thats what I tell myself anyway!) #ablogginggoodtime

    • 20
      Lucy At Home

      Yes I know it can happen accidentally. I’ve done that myself. Oops!

      I think that’s great advice. The writing is the bit I enjoy most of all, and the reason I started this crazy hobby, so I need to keep focused on that. Thank you 🙂

  8. 21
    Cherry @ The Newby Tribe

    I felt exactly the same and had to give myself a good talking too when I realised how it was working. I read something that said it wasn’t important how many people were following me, but how many were actively engaging with me and reading my blog – so I’ve tried hard to let go of the feelings when I notice my followers have gone down – I’ve not managed it yet, but I’m going to keep trying! #ablogginggoodtime

    • 22
      Lucy At Home

      Yes all we can do is keep trying. I’m glad it’s not just me. I just was so naive about it – I had no idea that this sort of thing happened so it took me totally by surprise. Now that I understand that it happens all the time and it’s not just a personal vendetta to me, it makes it (ever so slightly, but not really) better!

  9. 23
    Single Mum Speaks

    Oh God I don’t even know how many people that I follow don’t follow me back, or vice versa. Life’s too short. It just brings up all these inevitable worries! I’ve had roughly the same number of followers for ages so I think people are just following and unfollowing for the hell of it. What I also find funny is when people are like, “I’M ONLY 2 AWAY FROM 50,000 FOLLOWERS!” or something, and I’m like, yeah so? At the end of the day they’re just numbers, and most of them are probably bots anyway! #ablogginggoodtime

    • 24
      Lucy At Home

      Well I don’t think I’ll be looking again! I’ve learnt my lesson. Haha.

      And that’s another thing I just totally don’t understand about twitter – the bots! What is that about??? I just don’t get it!

      Thank you for leaving a comment. L

  10. 25
    Kirsty - Motherhoodery

    Oh hun I totally understand how you feel, but must admit even though I’m new I don’t take it too personally. After a couple of weeks I realised what people were up to and how for many it is just a game. I only follow people I’m interested in/are relevant to my blog. I’m not getting into games just to get my numbers up. I think Instagram is even worse for it. I always think you can tell by looking at people’s following/follower ratio. If they don’t follow many people you’ll probably find they’ll unfollow you quite quickly. I have also heard that sometimes the system just unfollows people you’re sure you were following! I’m following you #ablogginggoodtime

    • 26
      Lucy At Home

      Yes I think you’re right – it’s just a game for people and I’m not interested in playing games. I follow the people I want to read. Simple as that. I don’t have Instagram but a few people have commented saying that it’s even worse on there. Thank you for your kind comment. I just needed the reassurance that there are still genuine people on twitter and you have restored my faith!

  11. 27

    I guess the reasons vary for everyone, but I really think some people just like to keep their follow number down so that it looks better against their high follower numbers. Personally I sometimes don’t even realise that I’m not actually following someone I chat to a lot! I’ve just checked and we’re following each other *phew!* 😉 #sharingthebloglove

    • 28
      Lucy At Home

      Haha I don’t mind when it’s an oversight. I’ve done that by accident before. It’s just when people do it deliberately or I feel like they’re saying “You’re beneath me. You don’t have enough followers for me to care about you yet”. But then that’s probably just me putting words into other peoples’ mouths. I’ve started NOT following people who have lots of followers and don’t follow many people because I just think they’re going to unfollow me when I’m not looking. It’s all very complicated, though. It would be so much better if people just followed the people that they wanted to follow rather than being all tactical about it.

  12. 31
    Alison (MadHouseMum)

    It sounds as if you are living the Twitter dream with (probably by now) over 1000 followers. I, on the other hand, don’t have a clue! Don’t get bogged down with the numbers and definitely don’t be concerned about people who unfollow you – they are just so yesterday! You are successful and there are millions of people out there – don’t let a few get you down. Alison x #ablogginggoodtime

    • 32
      Lucy At Home

      Thank you. This is such an encouraging comment. I wish the numbers didn’t matter to me (and I really try my best to ignore them) but I’m so competitive with myself. I always want to do better than I did before. And I think the worst thing about this day is that I was totally unprepared for it. Now that I know it goes on, I’m much more OK with it. Thank you for leaving a comment. L

  13. 33

    You must be doing something right as you’ve now gained hundreds more (more than I have altogether)! I’m not sure I really understand Twitter. And I certainly don’t put enough effort into it (mainly because I just don’t get it)! I like Instagram though and feel like this on there. If I lose 10 followers not only is that a significant number of my followers but I feel offended that people don’t like my photography or something! I only post once a day so I don’t spam people rubbish. I just have to remember that this is a hobby and anyone I meet along the way is a bonus!

    • 34
      Lucy At Home

      It would appear that 1000 is the magic number because in the week since then, loads of people have suddenly started following me and I haven’t done anything differently!

      It’s hard not to take it personally. I think I am learning that there are different rules for internet “friendships” and real ones. But I do think it’s a shame and I’m not sure that I like the internet rules. I need to remember that it’s just a hobby, like you said. Plus I am getting to know some really lovely people through twitter / blogging so it’s not all bad. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. L

  14. 35
    Fran Back With a Bump

    I occasionally glance at my followers and they seem to fluctuate I think I’d get too cross if I could see who’s unpolluted me. I mean my twitter feed is totally hilarious and interesting. Take yesterday’s carpark shaming photo at Sainsburys for example! #thelist

    • 36
      Lucy At Home

      Hehe it’s nice to hear a bit of confidence! I need to get me some of that 😉

      I don’t think I’ll check very regularly. I can see that it’s useful for getting rid of inactive accounts and seeing who is deliberately playing the unfollow game, but it can be quite disheartening…

  15. 37
    John Adams

    I really wouldn’t worry about it. It is only twitter, after all! I’ve been blogging almost four years. I passed the 1K mark a long time ago (sorry!). I don’t follow people back immediately. When your social media following reaches a certain critical mass you tend to update, amend and follow , unfollow people in big chunks every few weeks or months. I also don’t follow everyone back who follows me simply because I can’t. My timeline is difficult enough to manage as it is. Keep on writing, keep on blogging and keep on tweeting. People must like what your do or you wouldn’t be anywehere near 1K followers! #TheList

    • 38
      Lucy At Home

      Yes I suppose I didn’t think about people updating their following in a big chunk.

      I don’t expect an automatic follow back (I certainly don’t follow everyone who follows me), but when we’re in the same niche, with the same friends, posting about the same sort of stuff, I don’t understand why you wouldn’t follow. Twitter is about networking, after all.

      Thank you for your encouragement 🙂

  16. 39
    Katy - Hot Pink Wellingtons

    1000 followers is great! I have to admit that the follow / unfollow game really frustrates me, but I’ve learnt not to let it upset me as much as it used to. I do use one of those follower check apps to keep a check on it though, and as soon as I’ve noticed then I unfollow too. Seems to be very much a thing about US bloggers with very high follower counts. My feeling with twitter is that I’ll follow back anyone who follows me who is a blogger, or talks about something that I might be interested in. So that does tend to be most people! But it’s a networking tool, why would you not follow back to expand your network. That said, I do occasionally come across people who I’ve sworn I was following but apparently not, so some of the ones that you have been interacting with could just have overlooked it. That’s what I like to think anyway! Thanks so much for joining us again at #SharingtheBlogLove

    • 40
      Lucy At Home

      Yes I’m going to choose to believe that it was an accidental oversight.

      I’ve heard that people like to make it so that they have more people following them than those that they follow so they play the follow/unfollow game. But when the figures are totally disproportionate, it puts me off following someone because I suspect that as soon as I click ‘follow’, they’ll just unfollow me.

      I certainly don’t follow everyone back, but I follow the people that I’d like to interact with and who I genuinely want to read. I don’t see the point in trying to be sly or tactical about it. Thank you for reading and leaving a comment. L

  17. 41
    SArah Christie

    Well done for getting to a thousand followers its fab, I will say the follow unfollow game drives me mad and for that reason I don’t always follow back and clog my feed, I like to chat and build up engagement, then you realise you have been chatting so someone for ages and not following them or vice versa, i would then rectify it but you don’t always notice when you are spinning loads of plate, and generally it is not personal just people being mad busy x

    • 42
      Lucy At Home

      No I don’t always follow back (especially as I haven’t worked out how to use lists yet! So my feed is getting very full). I know it can just be an honest oversight. I hope that’s what it was in the cases I am thinking of. But I’m always suspicious when people have loads more followers than following. It makes me think they’re being a bit sneaky…

  18. 43

    Ha ha. I use an app which shows who has unfollowed me and I don’t know why I look. I feel positively slighted at times.
    I don’t always notice I’m not following someone so them interacting but not following might be a mistake. Other people are daft. Ignore the app

    • 44
      Lucy At Home

      Yes I know it can happen accidentally. I don’t mind that. And I don’t follow everyone back who follows me, but when we’re in the same niche and tweeting about the same sort of stuff, I find it frustrating that I have to “earn” the right to be followed by people. Twitter is supposed to be about networking afterall. I shall ignore the app in future! Lol

  19. 47
    Rachel (Lifeofmyfamilyandme)

    Hmmm Twitter is a tricky one. I don’t tend to look at who’s unfollowed me to be honest. It can be very disheartening. As you’ve said, just enjoy it and think of the positives. #ablogginggoodtime

  20. 54
    Laura - dear bear and beany

    There are lots of people who play the follow/un follow game and it’s the most frustrating thing ever. It can be really hard to keep up with the all the notifications I receive and I may miss people that have followed me. Every couple of weeks I use an app to make sure I follow back people that are in the same niche as me or I like their feed. It’s horrible to look at though and see who has unfollowed you, I’ve had to toughen up! Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

  21. 56
    Emma T

    It’s hard to realise but we can’t all follow everyone. Although if you’ve interacted with someone it does seem bizarre not too. (I might not on IG unless I like their feed, but twitter isn’t usually an issue).

    I don’t follow everyone who follows me, but mostly because once you get to a certain stage, you get a lot of followers in clusters and it takes time to check everyone. Sometimes I do it, sometimes I just don’t have time. If they then talk to me later then I follow them.

    The follow/unfollow thing is mega annoying. And like many others I won’t follow people with massive following but who don’t follow many. It means its just all one way, and they just don’t care about followers and interacting with them. But many aim for that because there are tutorials and advice saying it’s looks like you’re doing like for like if you have similar numbers. Surely it just means you’re being followed by those in your niche and vice verse

    • 57
      Lucy At Home

      I don’t think following back should be automatic. I certainly don’t follow everyone who follows me. But it does feel like the people who have lots of followers think they’re superior and I need to prove myself before I’m worthy enough to be of interest to them. And it is very noticeable that now I’ve hit 1000 followers, more people have started following me. It’s a numbers game, without a doubt. And, as you say, it does seem very odd to not follow someone that you interact with. Thank you so much for commenting. L

  22. 58
    Mummy in a TuTu (@mummyinatutu)

    This really resonated with me. When I saw some of the people I interacted with on a daily basis didn’t follow me I was hurt. However, I also realised that I don’t want fake followers… I want people to follow me because they want to and not because they should. Hang in there and stay strong…

    Thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime

  23. 60
    You Baby Me Mummy

    Oh I wouldn’t take it personally. I sometimes don’t realise I am not following someone. If I am busy and we have a convo on Twitter, I might not check then I couldn’t rectify the situation. I have been surprised sometimes to find out that I am not following someone that I thought I was. Thanks for linking up to #TheList x

    • 61
      Lucy At Home

      I’m sure people don’t mean it to be spiteful but it can be pretty hard not to take it personally. Friendships don’t work like that in the ‘real’ world so I don’t see why they should in the virtual one, but I’m probably just naive. Thank you for commenting. L

  24. 62
    Fi - Beauty Baby and Me

    I’d have felt the same. It is so frustrating and quite upsetting when you realise people you’ve admired and interacted with have then unfollowed you. You’re doing fab and bear in mind the people that are following you are doing so because they really enjoy what you’ve got to say xxx #coolmumclub

    • 63
      Lucy At Home

      Yes you’ve totally nailed what I was trying to say. When you admire someone and think you’ve had a nice chat or whatever, it’s really disappointing. But, as you say, we just need to focus on the people who really care about what we have to say. Thank you for taking the time to comment. L

  25. 64
    The Kitschy Mumma

    I find Twitter can breed anxiety as I feel the same way sometimes. Do you know what I really don’t get though? When people ‘like’ your Twitter post and then unlike it again ifyou haven’t started following them. I can’t wrapmy head around that #coolmumclub

  26. 66
    Something About Baby

    Before reading this blog, I have literally just read another blog post about how to up your twitter followers!! It all seems to cold and calculating – only follow people who are following you, tweet every day, use this app, that app etc etc but really, I just want to follow people/brands/blogs I like and are interested in! I am tempted to look at my following vs followers, but really I’m not that bothered about people who don’t follow me, unless like in your example you interact with them often. I have to admit there have been a few people recently who I could have sworn I was already following but actually I’m not, so sometimes twitter likes to play its own games! #coolmumclub

    • 67
      Lucy At Home

      That’s exactly what I’m like – I want to follow people and stuff that I’m interested in. I know that I should be more objective when I’m trying to build my Lucy At Home brand (whatever that is?!) but, as you say, it just seems so cold. Thank you for your comment. L

  27. 68
    Jo - MotherofTeenagers

    Lucy at the time of writing this you have passed 1000, but even so what you have achieved in such a short time is fantastic. I like you am only doing Twitter right now and am bumbling along with my followers as I am not great at constantly tweeting which I guess I need to be. There is just so much to do that the list never seems to get shorter. Well done for what you have achieved so far. #coolmumclub

    • 69
      Lucy At Home

      Yes it’s a never-ending list, isn’t it! I’m not very consistent either. Some weeks I’ll be really good at tweeting, and sometimes there’s just no time. Thank you for your encouraging words. L

  28. 70

    I don’t really know what the key to being a successful blogger is? Is it twitter followers? Is it stats? Is it number of comments? I’m heading towards 9000 twitter followers but remember my first round number, I confess I was pretty excited. I can honestly say, if I really do have 9000 followers (ish) it’s the same 50 i engage with regularly. For me success is enjoying blogging, so if you’re there, you just hit one zillion followers my dear. Thanks for linking to #coolmumclub, my fave 60 or so people are right there every Thursday 🙂

    • 71
      Lucy At Home

      It’s so hard not to look at the stats (as a perfectionist, I’m always pushing to improve my figures and get better and better at what I’m doing). But you’re right – even as your contacts grow, you still only connect with a small group of people. And I love being part of the #coolmumclub!

  29. 72
    Siena Says

    Oh I so hear you with Twitter. I know a lot of bloggers swear by it but I prefer Instagram to be honest as I find the people over there very friendly. It has been interesting to see the contrast between my Twitter blog account and my own personal Twitter account. On my blog account, people very rarely engage with me (well they are just beginning to start a little bit now after ages). On my personal account I seem to engage with lots of people from all walks of life. I can’t always see my Twitter blog account for the tumble weed ha ha!!! I’m going to follow you now and I love a good chat about anything xxx

    • 73
      Lucy At Home

      Twitter is my only blog social media account (yes I know I need to sort that out! I think facebook will be my next move) so I don’t really have anything to compare it to. I just know that I don’t like all the tactical stuff that goes on. I’m not bothered if I follow more people than who follow me. It shows that I’m interested in other people and eager to expand. But then I’m relatively new to all this so I’m probably totally wrong. I will definitely look out for you on twitter 🙂

  30. 74
    Rhyming with Wine

    I can totally see where you are coming from on this! I actually haven’t dared to use any of those twitter tracking apps as I’m happy to bask in my naive little bubble. I think twitter is great fun and serves it’s purpose, but anything more than the odd giggle and sharing some great posts I find it a bit too restrictive because of the limitation on characters. I’m definitely following you and will look out for you where I can! xx #coolmumclub

    • 75
      Lucy At Home

      I haven’t been back on the app since that first visit! I like the challenge of trying to say something meaningful when the characters are limited, but yeah it’s hard to have much of a conversation. I will look out for you too 🙂

  31. 78
    Silly Mummy

    I never used twitter before blogging and hated it at first. Quite like it now. Personally, however, I believe the trick is to never get sucked into the world of checking who follows and unfollows, etc. I don’t check and I never have. I never unfollow anyone (not intentionally anyway). I probably do on occasion miss notifications & forget to follow back people, as sometimes there are a lot of notifications, and then I get a few days behind, and I’m not always entirely sure that I actually caught everything going back. I do find twitter notifications, and following the thread of conversations, etc, a little confusing! Although there are people who play the silly follow-unfollow games, I think mostly when people are not following you back, it will either be oversight, as I mentioned above, or some people keep their following numbers down to a select few. Though I don’t do it myself, I do have some sympathy with that, as there can be an overwhelming amount of information on twitter. I know you can use lists but if, like me, you didn’t start them early on and do them as go along, the idea of creating lists is itself overwhelming – I’d have to sort through thousands of names. So my newsfeed is quite a jumble, and I do get why some people like to not be following so many people. Though I also get why other people find that insulting!

    My advice though is to definitely try not to let it bother you. There are myriad reasons, and most of then will not be an intentional, personal snub. Ignorance is definitely bliss. Don’t check – live in ignorance with me! #coolmumclub

    • 79
      Lucy At Home

      I get really lost with twitter notifications too! Especially when people reply to something but it doesn’t tell me what they’re replying to. Very confusing! I haven’t worked lists out yet, either.

      I think you’re right that it’s best just to not get hung up on it. I was just found it so shocking at first. I will definitely be living in ignorance from now on 🙂 Thank you for leaving such a detailed, thought-out comment. L

  32. 80
    Kimberly - Media Mummy

    2200 plus at time of writing now!! I’ve never actually thought about this before – definitely not getting that app :-0 Hope you’ve recovered and regained your stride. Your blog is brill. It really stands out from many others for me x

    • 84
      Lucy At Home

      Yes it is really fast-paced on Twitter. I think making lists is the way to go, but I still haven’t gotten around to it yet, so trying to keep up with what’s going on is a nightmare! Eeek!

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