To The Low-Life Who Thought It Was Okay To Let Their Dog Poo In The Park

Dear dog owner, my two year old just stood in dog poo. YOUR dog poo!

I’m sure the two of you had a lovely morning together; basking in the sunshine, playing fetch, enjoying the fresh air. We, on the other hand, were only there five minutes before the poo incident occurred and we had to rush home immediately.

Have you ever tried dragging a two year old home when they thought they were going to play in the playground??

Covered in dog poo

I didn’t discover the stinking slop you’d left for us until I was halfway through helping my child down the fireman’s pole. Yup – that meant she just walked it right up my coat and into my hair! I nearly threw up from the stench.

After scrubbing her shoes on the grass, I had to use my bare hands to pull the smears out of my hair. Am I making you feel sick? Good! Because that’s how you made me feel this morning.


Our morning

But that’s not the end of it – we had to endure 30 minutes of screaming as we marched our way home, and I then had to set about cleaning the pushchair.

Have you ever had to scrape dog poo off the wheels of a pram using a toothbrush? Let me tell you, it gets right into the tread and it is disgusting, pain-staking work. It took me 40 minutes to get them clean enough to be wheeled into the house.


And all because you were too lazy to spend two minutes picking up this vile substance that YOUR DOG put there.

dog poo dog owner sillouette

Please note: image via unsplash, NOT the actual dog!

Sort yourself out

I’m not going to lie – I am fuming. It is downright revolting to leave faeces in a public place, especially in a children’s playground. You should be utterly ashamed of yourself. If you don’t like cleaning up after your dog, GET RID OF IT!

I actually have a poo machine of my own – my two year old little girl. I wonder how you would feel if I took one of her nappies and smeared it down your shirt, with a nice dollop in your hair for good measure?! I’m sure you’d be thrilled if I left a bit by your front door so that you stepped in it just as you were setting off to an important meeting.

Even better, what if I put some on your hands and forced you to lick them? Because yes – that is what children do!

Children don’t understand that this tawny coloured spatter is a major health hazard. You, however, are old enough to know better. How dare you leave that germ-infested dollop where children can get to it! You irresponsible, selfish, lazy low-life!

So yes, I hope you enjoyed your morning. Ours was completely and utterly ruined by YOU! Congratulations!


(P.S. Sorry for the rant. I know lots of dog owners who would never let this happen. And just to clarify – photos are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual culprits)






Add yours
  1. 1
    Heather Keet

    Oh my god…I would have thrown up for sure! I’m a dog owner and other dog owners who do this make me want to stab them! It’s the reason my county doesn’t allow dogs in their parks which really sucks for us good owners. Hugs to you for such a rotten park experience. #DreamTeam

  2. 3

    Seriously this is awful! Some horrid person has recently started walking our street and allowing their dog to poop without clearing it up. It is so irresponsible and offensive. There are so many lovely dog walkers by us (we live close to a park) and they are just as fuming! It’s so disgusting – full sympathy from me to you xx

  3. 7

    100% with you. Vile vile vile. Hate it. Also hate it when dog owners let their dogs jump all over you and laugh it off as “they are only being friendly”. No no no. Not good. Worst was when I had surgery scars on knee and it happened. #dreamteam

  4. 9
    Muffin top mummy

    Yep totally with you! I have a hard enough time keeping my daughter’s hands away from her own poo, let alone anyone/anything else’s! Totally irresponsible and should not be allowed a dog. So sorry it happened to you! #dreamteam

  5. 10
    Rhyming with Wine

    I have utter rage on your behalf!! In your hair? I would have been on a one woman rampage to seek retribution! Well said lovely. I think that most owners are very respectful now but the minority spoil it for dog owners everywhere and it’s inexcusable. Thanks for linking up with #DreamTeam x

  6. 12
    An Imperfect Mum

    I am a dog owner but I am a responsible dog owner and always pick up my dogs poop. My son walks our dog and I always make sure he has a poop sack and he picks up the poop too. I think it is disgusting the amount of poop left lying around and I am so sorry this happened to you! There needs to be heavier fines. I am always amazed by how much poop there is lying around in front of my kids school! I actually complained to the council. Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime

    • 13
      Lucy At Home

      Yes we have a lot on the pavement near school. It’s a nightmare when you’re trying to get your kids to school in a presentable condition so you’re having to watch your steps, and where your kids are walking, and make sure you don’t wheel the pram through it either. Aaargh!

  7. 17
    Jade @ Captured By Jade

    Oh gosh – it was hard reading this, never mind you going through it! The dog owners around here are terrible for picking up dog poo, and it is so annoying because it is such a simple task that comes part and parcel with the responsibility of owning a dog! And we all need a rant sometimes #dreamteam

  8. 19

    Oh jesus oh god I’m retching thinking about your hair. I don’t own a dog but i regularly mind my sister’s & dads dogs and we ALWAYS pick up the poo even the skutterie ones. I’m constantly shouting at my kids in parks ” mind the poo, mind the poo'” it’s soooooooo annoying. Imagine if your in a wheelchair and you ran over dog poo, seriously i heard this exact story on a radio program and my heart went out to the man.
    If you own a dog pick up the sh** simple as that. I’ve chased people around the park with nappy bags arguing this point, drives me MAD


  9. 20

    You certainly don’t need to apologise for your rant, you have every right! We’ve just been for a walk around our local country park and the amount of dog poo we had to avoid repulsed me. Most of the time it’s right in the middle of the path! These people should be disgusted in themselves! #ablogginggoodtime

  10. 23

    The dog poo rant. I am always doing the bloody fog oo rant. If you have a dog then it’s u to you to pick u the shit. It’s not optional. Some people are justain selfish picks. Sorry you had your morning ruined by one. My husband says when he’s king he’ll shoot dog owners who don’t I k up… He’s a zero toleren e sort of guy!

  11. 25
    Dave Pearson

    As a dog owner myself, this infuriates me. It’s awful and I’ve been there with our girls at various ages myself (toothbrush included!). We live in a rural market town and the problem of dog owners not cleaning up after their dogs is a real problem in these parts. Not just on off-road areas, we have morons who think leaving piles of stinking sh*t on pavements is acceptable. I even wrote a piece about it on our town blog recently. As a dog owner, I am more sensitive to this as one bad person tars us all with the same brush. Your experience sounds awful. I’ve had some nightmares myself, but nothin on this scale!

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