Dear dog owner, my two year old just stood in dog poo. YOUR dog poo!

I’m sure the two of you had a lovely morning together; basking in the sunshine, playing fetch, enjoying the fresh air. We, on the other hand, were only there five minutes before the poo incident occurred and we had to rush home immediately.

Have you ever tried dragging a two year old home when they thought they were going to play in the playground??

Covered in dog poo

I didn’t discover the stinking slop you’d left for us until I was halfway through helping my child down the fireman’s pole. Yup – that meant she just walked it right up my coat and into my hair! I nearly threw up from the stench.

After scrubbing her shoes on the grass, I had to use my bare hands to pull the smears out of my hair. Am I making you feel sick? Good! Because that’s how you made me feel this morning.

Our morning

But that’s not the end of it – we had to endure 30 minutes of screaming as we marched our way home, and I then had to set about cleaning the pushchair.

Have you ever had to scrape dog poo off the wheels of a pram using a toothbrush? Let me tell you, it gets right into the tread and it is disgusting, pain-staking work. It took me 40 minutes to get them clean enough to be wheeled into the house.

FORTY WHOLE MINTUTES!

And all because you were too lazy to spend two minutes picking up this vile substance that YOUR DOG put there.

Please note: image via unsplash, NOT the actual dog!

Sort yourself out

I’m not going to lie – I am fuming. It is downright revolting to leave faeces in a public place, especially in a children’s playground. You should be utterly ashamed of yourself. If you don’t like cleaning up after your dog, GET RID OF IT!

I actually have a poo machine of my own – my two year old little girl. I wonder how you would feel if I took one of her nappies and smeared it down your shirt, with a nice dollop in your hair for good measure?! I’m sure you’d be thrilled if I left a bit by your front door so that you stepped in it just as you were setting off to an important meeting.

Even better, what if I put some on your hands and forced you to lick them? Because yes – that is what children do!

Children don’t understand that this tawny coloured spatter is a major health hazard. You, however, are old enough to know better. How dare you leave that germ-infested dollop where children can get to it! You irresponsible, selfish, lazy low-life!

So yes, I hope you enjoyed your morning. Ours was completely and utterly ruined by YOU! Congratulations!

(P.S. Sorry for the rant. I know lots of dog owners who would never let this happen. And just to clarify – photos are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual culprits)

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