Being a mummy (or daddy!) is a balancing act.  There is a constant need to be in two places at once, live two lives at once.

We are adults, with work commitments, financial responsibilities, and social groups.

But we are also parents, a.k.a.:

• Provider
• Playmate
• Confidante
• Cook
• Moral compass
• Taxi
• Bank
• Cheerleader

It can sometimes feel like two worlds pulling in different directions.  And who wins out? Who should win out? Is it possible to do both?

The balancing act: parenting

Mummy, can you play with me? Mummy, watch this! Watch what I’m doing! What’s for tea? Can I help make it? When will you be finished? Mummy, can you come here? Mummy, I need my shoes. Where are my shoes? Can you help me look for them? Can you fasten my coat? Mummy, where’s the ball gone? Is tea ready yet? Watch this! Mummy, can you play with me?

Children are wrapped up in their own world. They think about how the world works in relation to them and often miss the bigger picture. It can be infuriating tiring!

But there are bills to be paid, deadlines to be met, chores to be done (My ironing pile is fondly referred to as ‘Mount Everest Knicker-Vest’!)

I love cuddling under a blanket and reading to my kiddies. I love playing hoola hoop in the garden. I love seeing them giggle. I wish we could share those special, giggly moments all the time.

But I have responsibilities.

The balancing act: adulting

I also have my own needs.

I need to see my own friends. I need to pursue my own hobbies (shockingly, it’s not a life ambition of mine to do handstands!)

I don’t want to be a slave to my children. I’m not here purely for their entertainment. I am a person too.

I also have to pay the bills. I have to keep on top of the clothes washing cycle (with the exception of the ironing!). I have to do the weekly food shop.

It’s so hard to find a balance. I am desperately aware that they’re only young for a short time, and I don’t want to miss it. But the world cannot evolve round them in the way that they sometimes think it should.

Finding a balance

I have come to the unhappy conclusion that whatever I decide to do, I will feel guilty about it!

Did I spend enough time with the kids? Are we earning enough to give them what they want? Have I enrolled them in enough extra-curricular activities? Are they getting enough 1-on-1 time? Is the food I’m giving them nutritious enough? Did I spend enough on their Christmas presents? Should I be cutting my work hours down so that I can pick them up from school?

I wish there was an easy answer. I’m a chronic over-thinker. I can’t help but chew this stuff over and over in my mind.

But here is my conclusion; we are ALL people. We ALL have needs and desires. My children do. I do.

I’m a mummy so I love to take care of my children and I naturally put them first. BUT, I also need to look after myself.

So fellow mummies, here is my conclusion:

If working full time brings you fulfilment, do it, because a contented parent will make for a contented child

If staying at home is important to you, do it, because a parent who upholds their values will make for a child who upholds their values.

If socialising with your friends makes you happy, do it, because a parent who is happy will make for a child who is happy.

Oh, my little ones, I love you so very much. I will always be here to listen when you need me. But please try to understand that mummy has to keep the world turning too. I do it for you. I do it all for you, even though you can’t see it.